due to my big announcement, i will be expecting expensive gifts as early as this afternoon. as you might imagine things have gone rather quickly for me and shannon but what can i say, we are in love.

before falling asleep on the car ride to work (as i always do), we were listening to wfnx and in the usually annoying banter of their morning show i heard something that made sense and i think would help some people (girls) i know. if you hang out with guys, generally 3 or more, and are the only girl, expect to be made fun of. its what we do. or if not expect atleast to be not talked to. after that i all remember is some sort of crappy news report on how there is a rising epidemic of 12 year olds drinking cough medicine to trip. never attempted by myself i have heard nothing but the worst from the many i know whove tried this. known commonly (to me) as robo-tripping you basically drink a bottle or two of robitussin dm and proceed to "trip" although most accounts involve the words "fucking stupid" and "sleepy drunk" and "not ever going to do it again". evidently, there is some sort of attempt to stop kids from buying cough medicine. all i can say is 'bravo', this sort of thing needs to be shut the fuck down to prevent kids who havent hit puberty from making this giant mistake. id say lock them up but since it is a standard over the counter phamaceutical product, the only thing they are doing wrong is "using it in a manner other than directed", which is little more than a liability assurance, leaving no crime to prosecute. see what happens when pot is illegal? it makes kids go into drugstores and look for much more harmful substitutes ultimately deciding their fates making all future generations pimps, crack whores, and paint sniffing homeless people. so go ahead politicians of our fair land, continue to ruthlessly prosecute 16 year olds for possession of a gram of weed, while allowing the same kids to trip like you did thirty years ago. good call morons.

"dont shit a shitter", my boss reminded me as i used the alt+tab combo to pretend like i was reading my company email. its all good though cause he is clearly hungover and got here a solid hour after i did so i am in the clear. not to mention, he is a hippy and doesnt give a shit to begin with. he wasnt too impressed with the picture i drew of him with devil horns whipping the co-ops though.

it finally happened. myself and the chrises have been waiting for the day wed get to move into our apartment for quite some time now, and that wait is over. after patting ourselves on the back for what a good job we did finding it, we picked out of a hat for who got first choice of rooms. we were unanimous in our rankings of the three rooms, and lucky me, i was got first choice picking the largest. i find it fairly comical that not only am i the only one without any furniture yet, but i also was the one most willing to share a room while the other two remained adament in their desire to have their own. suckers. our place will be nasty once we are completely moved in which likely wont happen till closer to the end of the month, but now it is pretty barren. roof access was a nice surprise to get, although there is no railing of any kind making drunken adventures up there slightly treacherous. needless to say they will happen anyway.

"i dont like squirrels. they are always making plans. anytime you get near them they run away saying 'hey they saw me'. they are really sort of scary. plus they are morons."

poorly paraphrased from a conversation i had with my roomates this fine afternoon. it was a lot funnier than i made it sound just now.

ill be drinking tonight for the man on the mountain. may he rest in piece. or in a big pile of rocks at the base of that mountain.

there might not be a sound that is more abrasive and unpleasant than the repetitive harsh beeping of my alarm clock. like usual it chimed in to tear me away from sweet sweet sleep this morning. the first and only thought after i shut that stupid alarm clock off, was, "why did i set my alarm on a saturday?" as i tried to slide back into my slumber reality (thankfully?), returned and i crawled out to begin the day tired and hungover. stupid stupid work.

in talking about people we hated the most, several names came up. though the conversation lasted a good half hour (maybe) the bottom line can summarized in a few sentences. two of three people on my hate list have been exonerated: tim and bolivia. this is due mainly to the fact that i have not seen either for awhile and cannot remember as clearly why i hate them. there is one who is awful all of the time. this person is known to frank the crook from the brook. if you ever see this man, run for your life. he is the worst.

i just got off the phone with my mom, and i said "hey mom, this is matt, im in love with this stripper yo". she said, "i can flex in 25 positions, have you any idea how hard this is?", at which point i terminated the conversation.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?

in february Tim Kurkjian of espn wrote an article about 5 baseball teams that had no chance of breaking .500 nevermind making the playoffs. one of these teams was the kansas city royals. here is what he had to say about the royals:
"Poor Allard Baird. Kansas City's general manager spent the offseason trying to cut payroll from $52 million to around $40 million. Pitchers Paul Byrd, Jeff Suppan and Roberto Hernandez were lost or let go, leaving no pitcher who won more than four games last year as a Royal, and no pitcher who saved more than four games as a Royal. The club tried to sign center fielder Carlos Beltran long term, but he rejected it. He could be traded before the July 31 trading deadline, if not in spring training. Who would want to stay in KC?
There is some hope in the Royals' young pitching, including closer Mike MacDougal, and starters Runelvys Hernandez, Jeremy Affeldt and Kyle Snyder, but by that time those kids develops, Beltran surely will be gone, so will first baseman Mike Sweeney. And if any of those young arms do become stars, the Royals probably won't be able to afford them anyway."
anyone following baseball would now realize that this article has been proved to be one of the most untrue things ever written.

i have been feeling really terrible lately. my boss says every day i look worse and worse. there can be several reasons for all of this. i have been staying up fairly late, i go to work in stained clothes, unshaven, and unshowered, and i tend to sleep on the way to work adding to my "just got up" appearance.

this weekend was absolutely out of control. on friday, lots of boozing in the room with key appearances from chris grange, reshma and elyse. i made several claims that i would go up to 98 hillside but never actually made it there. saturday the crew went on a trip to methuen where hamels parents had vacated the house. this party would prove to be nutty. lots of beirut and pool was played and other general drinking madness. this entry will do little justice to the fun that was had. you would be wise to check out Crispy's Place because he will no doubt have a better account of things that went on. my night ended drinking by myself at 8 in the morning after having made several solo missions outside through the brush in hamels backyard. i think i trespassed on about 4 different peoples property before returning to check my email and pass out. i awoke sweating and with a ferocious hangover around 2 oclock. there were many inexplicable cuts and bruises on my body and i think it is safe to say i had a good night. sorry to those poor bastards who i kept awake with my inane chatter in the wee hours.

apologies for writing so inconsistantly. there is a good chance this wont change however. i do plan to write this afternoon detailing some recent events including this weekends madness. while you all eagerly await that momentus event, i will allow you to read this article which i believe clearly illustrates 2 things. girls are crazy, and the world has become intolerably paranoid.

i had the ever popular "sloppy joe" today for lunch. it lived up to its name leaving greasy hamburger bits all over me. i feel a little like a scum bag with my sloppy joe stained lab coat but i am too lazy to go get a new one.

phase two of project free laundry is well under way. i hope to have results by this evening.