anyone been following the democratic nominee mess? me either. but check this out: Al Gore just snubbed ex-running mate joe leiberman by endorsing Howard Dean. Lieberman is jewish. these are facts. after doing not one second of research, it has come to my attention that major players in the palestine/israel nightmare donated millions and millions of dollars to the Dean campaign. after making that up, i decided that by simple logic, al gore must be a palestinian sleeper agent who has infiltrated our countries executive branch in order to sabatoge any kind of peace agreement that doesnt favor the palestinians. just think about it ... after 8 years of deception with the clinton administration and his latest endorsement of the non-jew, it should be clear that al gore was and is the puppet master pulling all the strings in the united states government for the past 10 years.

good drunk chat with my roomates and the kid on the couch (st. louis).

i was watching the rudolf christmas special just now. at the beginning, all the reindeer were playing games, till rudolfs disguise is blown and everyone sees his red nose. i would just like to say that the reindeer 'coach' is a fucking dick. upon seeing rudolf's uniqueness he said:
"were not going to let you play anymore reindeer games, right guys?"
fuck that reindeer.

as you may have read in my away message today, santa was supposed to be on campus (for details). when me kinlin and hamel ventured out to meet with the jolly fatman he was nowhere to be seen. what a fucking letdown. basically ruined my day. we brought cameras and everything. ironically, santa's appearance was supposed to be sponsered by HAMMERED, a drug/alcohol free group, so to spite them instead of seeing santa we drank and did drugs all day long. take that ya fat bastard. trying to bribe me into being a good boy just for some crappy K-Mart toys. go to hell.

after work saturday night, i drank for the first time in weeks. here are a couple quotes that i remember. i really have to remember a larger portion of the moronic conversations we have so you all may join in laughing at our stupidity.

"i want you to be underwater .... drowning".
- me to st. louis

"st. louis, how many limbs do you need to be happy? cause ill leave you with one less than that number"
- kinlin

i sit here at my computer putting off my homework in hopes that school will be cancelled tomorrow. i dont think it will happen despite the fact that all of boston has been absolutely crippled by a widdle bit of snow. regardless, here i sit, clicking the refresh button hoping to see a change in the northeastern webpage alerting me of the cancellation.

i was thinking earlier today, "why dont i have anything to write about anymore?". after pontificating on the matter for approximately 3 minutes i decided it was because i have not been drinking barely at all lately. that was a depressing thought: there is no excitement in my life without alcohol. but then i came to another conclusion. since the beginning of mattio's lounge, it has been a forum for my bitching about stuff. by this reasoning, if i have nothing to write about, its because i havent been drinking and i dont have anything to bitch about. this was a much nicer thought, but it made me instantly realize that i should have been complaining about my job all along. so here goes ...

as many know, i have been working weekends as a valet. during the best of times, this means that i drive nice cars, and make large tips. during the worst of times, there are no cars, and i make shit. this weekend was by far the worst it has been. in order for me to feel ive completely described my horrible ordeal, i will require some background information. for those who have never valet'd their car, or did and somehow still dont know how it works, here it is. you drive your car up, we give you a ticket, we park your car in our lot, you give the ticket to your waiter 15 minutes before you want your car, they tell us, we get your car, you come out drive your car away and give us a shitty tip. now on a typical saturday night, we'll have 5 people working and park between 30 and 40 cars. since one person has to stay there all the time, the 4 others have to run to and from the lot meaning they each park 6-10 cars.
so, when we park a car we drive to the lot and we have to run back. when we get a car we run to the lot and drive back. pretty simple. however, our lot is just under half a mile away, so each night we have to run about 3 miles.
now to the important part, this weekend. on friday we parked very few cars, and i made 22 dollars in tips. subtracting the 2 dollars i paid to get there and back and adding in the 6 dollars an hour i make i pulled in $60.50 which wasnt worth it because i was frozen to the bone all night. yesterday, i showed up and immediately had to park a car. however, the streets were stupid and the lot wasnt plowed. i got the car very stuck in the lot and had to dig it out with my hands every 5 feet i drove so i could get out of the lot again. i was dripping wet, very pissed off and very cold by the time i returned to the front of the restaraunt. i was then told i could go home. so i left. making 9 dollars in wages and 0 dollars in tips, subtracting the 2 for travel left me with 7 dollars net. weekend total: $67.50.
i worked again tonight and had to shovel the heaviest snow ever from in front of the restaraunt. no cars came, and i was let go at 7:30. i went into the store to buy a water and the old guy that owns the restaraunt paid for my water in gratitude, then offered to pay me 5 dollars to shovel another path out. let me assure you, spending half an hour shoveling heavy snow for 5 dollars was not what i had in mind, but i would have felt like a dick since he just paid for my water. with the 5 bucks he gave me, plus 18 in wages, minus 2 for travel i netted 21 dollars. that gives me a 3 day total of $88.50. not too bad right? wrong. based on the 10.75 total hours worked, i made a whopping $8.23/hr. even this doesnt seem too bad until you think about the absolute hell it was standing outside for a mere 15 minutes, let alone hours.

ok, thats enough of that. if you even made it through that im impressed, nevermind followed any of my calculations. the two guys that i work for, probably the cheapest humans alive, tried to push out a valet'd car out of our lot with their land rover and smashed the shit out of the back of it. out of kindness, they filled in the dent with lots of snow so the driver wouldnt notice until later, when "anybody could have done that".

p.s. dont ever valet your car.