i almost got beat up by bobby mcpsycho tonight. only my deft avoidance of racial issues allowed me to live. take it easy bobby.

"You've always been the type to see the glass half-full, but that will change next week when you start drinking"

tell me who i stole this from and you win a prize.

todays topic of discussion: animal rights. conclusion: they dont have any. if they wanted "rights" they could just develop larger brains over several hundred millennia and theyd be all set. lazy goats.

now dont get me wrong, the people who beat their dogs/cats/racoons/pumas should be put in jail. but not because of the animals rights; because they are sickos. by evolving into the top species on the planet, we have earned the right to belittle any lesser beings (i.e. every single other species). animals dont have souls, atleast according to the pope, who (whom?) is still infallible, so .... fuck em. animal abuse is only offensive because of the PEOPLE involved. not the animals. example: a man beats his dog. he is a bad man because a.) dogs have feelings, deserve equal treatment, etc or b.) because this guy was prolly a bastard anyway.

b.) because different species have always, ALWAYS asserted their dominance over the others via aggressive behavior. its something i like to call supernatural selection. i added the "super" for a little extra flair.

this being said, dont beat your fucking dog. also, dont bring 20+ cats into your home. these things never turn out well.


if you dont like this, you can suck my dick. cause i was high when i wrote this.

p.s. paraphrasing isnt the same as plagiarising