cKINTO11: yo i gotta use your phone for like 3 minutes to register for classes...in return u can rape one family member

CrashN2me71: if this game gets rained out, im breaking whatever limbs i see tonight

"I'm brutally honest; if you don't want me to be honest, then don't ask me. I hate it when girls ask, 'Does this shirt make me look fat?' I'm like, 'No, your fat makes you look fat. All the shirt's trying to do is get off you.'"

"I love eating candies off of scott's body ..." -Jake

on a more somber note. may it rest in piece, where beer soaked electronics can frolic in the forest and make love to lesbian nympho electronics. Reshawns keyboard is no longer with us.

as many northeastern students realize, our fine institution is trying to better its reputation. it has increased standards for entry to the point where, i really dont think i would have gotten in here had i been graduating this year (speaking of which congratulations to sabrina and rebecca). now, when i first heard about northeasterns thoughts on improving things i thought that it was a good thing. think about it. morons like me get in and then graduate when it is regarded as a more impressive school making my diploma value rise. however, upon further pontification, i think that what is going on will be harmful to myself and the rest of the student body. for example, with the heightened level of academic achievement of incoming freshmen, my own will be dwarfed. the overall effect being, those snot-nosed brats will steal my financial aid forcing me to drop out or spend more of my hard earned money towards tuition. another side-effect, classes will get harder. with smarter students, the university is going to update curriculums to better challenge this new race of super freshmen. in fact, there is not one single good thing coming out of this new shift in attitude. even if northeastern succeeds in getting nicer buildings, harder classes, smarter students, giving them the princeton review ranking they so desperately covet, it will do us no good. reputations arent earned in 4 years ... by the time northeastern is regarded as a top-notch school, my college degree will be virtually meaningless. i will have long been incarcerated for multiple terroristic acts, or have a lengthy career that far outweighs the the diploma given to me years ago. so FUCK YOU northeastern. i say, let in the illiterate slobs. let in the overweight borderline mentally retarded kids. we should be working to lower the schools standards to make things easier on ourselves. we could be intellectual giants among the half-wits and/or disabled. so, i implore you, join me in the laziest most ineffective protest in history tonight. drinks will be served from approximately 7 pm to 4 am or later.

i really think many homes for the retarded allow too much creative freedom. ive been navigating the information superhighway for quite awhile this morning and have found several sites that beg the question: do retards rule the internet? quite a cop-out entry i know, but i really have no interesting things to say.
You've Got to be Kidding Me
The Simpsons. After 20 minutes of searching the site i came to the conclusion that the comic book store guy has no name.
Would be fun if the links werent all dumb
ABC's
Walk of Shame
For only $45.55 it could have been MINE!
Lots of Girls Kissing
This cant be real

well, that should tide you over for a few minutes kinlin.

i recently finished demolishing a huge steak and cheese sub. known as the "cherry bomb" its approximate dimensions are 15 inches long, 4 inches high and 4 inches wide. in it is an entire cows worth of meat, pepperoni, provolone cheese, and hot peppers. i finished it and an order of fries approximately 30 minutes ago and it is already putting a hurting on my digestive system. id say i have between 10 to 15 minutes before i put a hurting on the nearest toilet.

ps. kinlin, did you really write that last entry at 6:27 am?

after several comments, i have removed the "Flammable Liquid" label from my water bottle. more than one safety official was appalled that there was a container labeled thusly and was outside of the lab. not too mention one saw me drinking out of it. i guess they failed to see the joke ... because water isnt flammable at all.

if you are bored, continue on to the entry previous to this one. if not, let me sum it up for you: my town sucks but i am the man.

today i would like to honor a hero. this man has come from a low income and sub-par intelligence area. he has also had to deal with such cultural hurtles as a non-diverse public school as well as anal policemen with nothing better to do than set elaborate speed traps and eavesdrop on kids in order to get the proverbial drop on harmless parties. despite a mediocre (at best) athletics and less than average academic program at good ol' MVRHS (Macoma Valley Regional High School), Matt Johnston has become a veritable god among men. since many might feel this is too unbelievable a web ive spun, i have provided some concrete evidence of what a crappy highschool he attended:
Indisputable Evidence
notice the pie graph identifying a 100% white school. also notice significantly less than average scores in both math and language arts. not to mention the percentage of people getting reduced lunch (aka, they are wretchedly poor) is above the state average (new hampshire not being known for its overwhelming wealth).

to emphasize that cops in that area have little to do, check out these sites:
Enfield Cops Are Dumb
check out paragraph 5 where they say "At most of our major finds, we have observed the marijuana planted in groups of 4-5 plants spread over an acreage of several acres". FOUR OR FIVE PLANTS OVER SEVERAL ACRES? wow guys, keep up the good work. check out their killer busts at the bottom of the page too.
Canaan Cops Have Little to Do
should you follow that link, click on "Public Info", then on "2001 Breakdown for Calls of Service", and you will see that there were only three more calls (27) for drug offenses, then for bad check cases (24). honestly people.

Canaan has few major attractions, a town virtually barren of all things fun. here are a few of the sites to see in the wasteland that i call my hometown:
Canaan USA Speedway
sandwiched neatly between a little league field and the dump, this is the place to be ... if you are a drunk fat redneck who loves to see crappy racers on a crappy track. despite its obvious flaws, thousands of morons flock to have their ears damaged. and yes, it can be clearly heard from most of the town, including my house.

Cardigan Mountain School
a private junior highschool that achieves a negative cost vs. education rating. few canaan residents matriculate there (almost all of them because their parents teach there), and the ones wealthy enough to go, generally are shipped off to other private schools for grade 9. also, because it is an all boys school (except in summer) it is widely known that they are all gay.

Mt. Cardigan
the mountain for which the school is named after, isnt even actually in canaan, but it is close enough to mention. at an astounding 3,121 ft. high, after age 10 it loses its magic and is good for drunken winter excursions and little else.

The Canaan Historical Sites
included in these sites are several churches, the old meeting house, and a museum filled with five or six old pieces of junk supposedly from this fine towns past. almost, if not all, is located on canaan street where you will also find a poorly maintained road, and lots of snobby people, and of course canaan street lake. which is actually a pond.

and that folks is it. by the way, if you are still reading this i am very surprised. i wasted my own time at work writing this, but you probably could be spending your time more wisely.

ignore that picture of david hasselhoff on the left. i may have already fixed the problem by the time you read this.

i have recently viewed a video clip of mr. jeff allen having a seizure. or maybe he was competing in a hoky-poky tournament. at any rate, it looks like some sort of drunken polka crossed with a native american rain dance, and with any luck at all it will be available this evening for download right here in mattio's lounge. also, since i dont take any pictures i will try to con my roomates into sending me theirs.

i was sent an email exemplifying how stupid "cyber sex" is. i have spent the better part of the morning editing it into a readable format (i.e. deleting those stupid carot things that are always on the side of forwards) and splitting it up since it was real long. i dont care if you think it is funny or not, because i did, plus i spent over an hour working on it:
Cybersex is Stupid 1
Cybersex is Stupid 2
Cybersex is Stupid 3
Cybersex is Stupid 4
Cybersex is Stupid 5

mr kinlin has finally given in to the horrible boredom we all face and created a blog. thats right, now you have one more persons point of view, about stuff that you dont care about, to read. eventually i will get around to putting a permanent link to it on my page, but html isnt too fun to write so i will wait. for now you can use this link: If you click on this it means kinlin is a homo. evidently when i was away this weekend (highlights to be given later), some prick tried to break into our apartment. this doesnt bother me as much as it probably should. if you read kinlins blog you will know as much as me about it. i will karate chop you in the throat if you break in.

friday night was a good one in the apartment, however, when i snuck out (to vomit in the alley), there is a good chance that everyone i know was pissed at me for doing something. well, oh well suckers, i dont care. saturday morning i was slated to wake up at 730 in order to catch a train to see my sister graduate. despite getting a wake up call from my mom, i slept till 9 oclock. i am the best brother ever. sabrina and dooling were awakened by my muttering and swearing and [out of pity] sabrina gave me a ride to the graduation.

saturday afternoon was filled with me eating dingdongs, honeybuns, and watching several movies i had seen 45 times. after i was done with that, i mowed to lawn and helped josh (my sisters boyfriend, aka spagoo) enlarge our fire pit. a few whiterussians into the night, jacob and jimmy picked me up and off we went to bristol. i got pretty wasted and may or may not have blacked out. i can remember doing some specific things before i crumpled half on my bed, but there are also several hours missing in the middle of the night.

the big bbq was scheduled for sunday afternoon. i awoke and began the difficult task of nursing my hangover. upon investigating my bed i found there was no mattress (boxspring only), no pillows, one folded up blanket, several street signs, a box of crackers, and a half full can of soda. my bed is awesome. the bbq went well, and im glad i had sense enough saturday night to invite my hot friend lindsay gibson. last night was filled with some poor luck though that have had some ramifications today. since i misread the commuter rail schedule i missed the last train into boston. basically what that means is that i had to wake up at 4 this morning, get to the station by 530, get to northstation by 630, and get to ruggles by 710 when i leave with jon to drive to work and get there by 8.

ps. im not getting my futon today either because the car i was going to use to pick it up broke down. YESS!
pps. it is saweet weatha to watch the redsox pound the retahded yankees.