today i sort of destroyed some expensive samples at work. this might be due in part to the horrible hangover i awarded myself by drinking too late into the evening last night. the drinking was excellent as always, and if i recall correctly, i ended up writing happy birthday on some girls boobs. probably never see her again.

i have experienced few pains greater than what occurred to me only moments ago. while trying to turn off the shower i turned the knob the wrong way and liquid hot magma scalded my body before i could realize my mistake and do the job right. my skin is actually burned and i feel this is not a mistake i am excited to make ever again.

a guy i work with: mark, you think you can do me a favor?
mark (my boss): well, probably, if i dont boot.

though ive been told that i have acquired a slight boston accent im sure it is far from noticeable to people around here. i guess it is there nevertheless. in any case, i really want one, due to my infatuation with accents, so i am going to make a conscious effort to expedite its development. ill prolly forget about it in 20 minutes though.

last night was basically out of control. i will now try and recount the nights foolishness from the beginning. however, there are many blank spots that are slowing getting filled in by other participants. around 630 or 7 kayla and i walked up the hill to scott and ians place. all was friendly and lowkey to begin, beirut in the backyard, chillin having a good time. somehow everyone got really motivated to make some food. i find it kind of funny that the drunker we got the more extravagent the food we made. at first it was just steak tips on the grill. they were delicious. then i helped ian make some scalloped potatoes and we grilled up some shrimp. naturally everything was marinated in some kind of alcohol. the shrimp with bbq and 151 were absolutely wonderful. while i stirred the potatoes jeff allen decided that something was missing so he poured about half a bottle of our finest busch light into the mix. not only was i surprised that all of this food was cooked but also that we cleaned everything up afterwards. there was actually less dishes dirty when we were done because kayla and scott cleaned it all up. then more people started to come, more beer pong, and just out of controlness. at this point in the story i unfortunately only have flashes of what happened. i remember thinking that this would make a good story but i cant remember all the details. lauren and farah were VERY drunk and at one point lauren was dry humping farah on the living room floor. then there was the brief dance party in joes room where we were only allowed to listen to one song over and over again. due to the fact we got an early start there was time for a second beer run. ian, kayla and shawn drove off to the store, but even that small task was not without event. from what i can piece together, some guys outside the store were asking for beer and when it refused a brawl nearly ensued. at some point their tire got slashed and that had to be changed. the item of choice for the second run was moderately priced wine and champagne. i was lucky enough to eat and drink for free all night and i was rewarded with a bottle of wine. now, none of us had a corkscrew so we had to walk to shawn and jeff allens house and retrieve the apparatus. basically what it consists of is a screw, screwdriver, and hammer. you have to screw the screw into the cork and pull it out using the claw on the hammer. jeff allen was the first to try ... failure. he pushed it in too far so the cork with the screw in it was in his wine. after trying to get it out for a while we finally had to pour the wine into several glasses so we could get the screw to open the other bottles. the best part of this ordeal was getting to smash the bottle outside. i think it was jeff who got to do it so we threw it off the deck but those bottles are surprisingly durable. it bounced of the pavement and then again off a smashed computer monitor on the sidewalk then finally broke in the street. with our screw in hand we went back to start on shawns bottle. again, a failure. this time the cork only came out a little and the screw just ripped out. little by little more holes were made and more chunks of the cork got pulled out and it was becoming evident that it was a lost cause. we retrieved the screw gave up and just pushed the cork in and drank it like that. having learned from the mistakes of my comrades i was able to pull the cork out successfully. the bottle didnt last too long as colleen and i polished it off in a matter of minutes. for some reason it was thought to be a good idea to write vagina on everyone using permanent marker. between the 2 or 3 drunk girls with markers id say a good 15 people got it. after the wine, i got to drink my 40 of st. ides i had brought. that was tasty and pretty much put me over the edge. now time for the bad parts of the night. when i left someone had drank most of joes 40, both our (joe and i) bags were unaccounted for, as was the grill. farah faired less then well and was soon paying for her night of drinking. there were probably some other things that sucked too but i cant remember them so its all good. i only saw 3 people (marissa, tim, colleen) who i know for a fact didnt get absolutely trashed. this morning i woke up fully clothed on a small couch one room away from my vacant bed. a perfect end to a perfect night.