i just read an amazing article at cnn.com about this little shithole town in texas. evidently if you miss homework, you have to attend an after school class. if you fail to attend this class they slap you and your parents with a fine of up to 185 bucks. sweet lord what is the world coming to. other interesting news: moby got beat up last night. stupid eminem fans. ummm, sly stallone is going to come out with ANOTHER rocky movie. sly is 56. a review of "the hot chick" made me laugh for awhile: "You have to hand it to Rob Schneider. In his films, no joke is too lame, no plot too preposterous, no cliche too overdone. He just dives in with gusto", and the critic continues, "'The Hot Chick' [however] lacks any coherent point. The witchy blonde becomes a better person after walking in the shoes of a larcenous felon. Really? And the kids she mocked in high school now rally to her cause. Huh?" really makes me wanna go see that.

i am the master of all mortals. bow to me or be denied the glorious light that is having my aquaintence.

in celebration of not going to jail, or even having to pay too much fine money, after court i went out and bought both a new game cube game, James Bond: Nightfire, as well as a new computer game, Civilization II: Test of Time. they are both nasty and since they are brand new, highly addictive. after work i do little more than eat, get drunk, and play video games. hopefully their charm will dull soon so i can find atleast moderately more productive things to do. on a side note, nobody is here so its not like there is a shitload of parties to go to anyway, plus our cable is turned off so video games is the natural next choice.

yeah, so after working at gillette for like 2 weeks, not only was i invited to the open bar christmas party at gillette stadium but i also received a christmas bonus. this place is the best.

i spilled an entire cup of coffee this morning. i looked around quickly and didnt see anyone so i left the scene of the crime. just now i checked and there is virtually no sign of it, which means some sorry bastard had to clean up the mess that i was too lazy to. suckas.

james bond night fire, is going to rule my life.

after calling in sick yesterday i thought my boss might be suspicious if i was perfectly fine today. rather than trying to fake it all day long i decided that getting drunk and being hungover all day long would be my best option. while it worked perfectly in making me feel bad, im not sure i look too sick. not to mention i havent seen my boss all day. he might not even be here. the drunkeness was good except for 2 major incidents. drunken incident number 1 was comitted by michael jenkins. he knocked over a candle that was on my desk and glass went flying everywhere and is now happily embedded in our carpeting. drunken incident number 2 was also comitted by michael jenkins. after missing a shot in beirut, he felt the need to put his heel through my wall. it made me so happy this morning to see that hole in the wall.

court was the BEST. i got to see all my friends i met in the holding cell. the judge was definitely a dickhead, and even one of the lawyers said that he "was a real asshole". the judge sort of talked like Mike Tyson, but seemed relatively not terrible. anyway, he sort of was pissed at me at first cause my lawyer wanted to do something wierd but then he just gave us 6 month probation. not to big a deal unless i get in trouble before june 9th. so on june 10th you better believe ill be drinking like a maniac. the title ive given it (the party) is: thank god im not on probation anymore so lets get shitty party. you are all invited. now i must deal with the evil northeastern university. see what those pricks have in store for me. i bet my boss was WICKED glad i called in this morning. and i woke up at 6 to do it because i knew he wouldnt be there. hopefully he doesnt get super pissed about it.

talk about an ego boost. take these online IQ tests. they are the best. this one says: Wow! A score above 130 means that your performance on this test was way above average. Actually, according to this test, you are absolutely brilliant. Only a very small percentage of people score this high. i actually only got a 130, so not above 130 but close enough. after i went back and changed my gender from male to female, my IQ jumped up to 136. this test evidently thinks girls are dumb. either that or i just answered stuff that chicks dont know like some of the spacial recognition and such. who knows.

other things i "learned" about myself on online tests: People who have unconscious minds driven by self-protection tend to shy away from conflict and may intellectualize emotional issues rather than letting themselves become upset or overwrought during arguments. whatever that means. also, after my IQ test in which i scored a 136, i was told im a visual mathmatician and that 60% of visual mathematicians wait for the other person to make the first move on a date. that is a pretty unimpressive statistic, but they wanted me to pay 15 bucks for a better analysis so thatll have to do.

while perusing bored.com at work today, i came across a site called: which is worse? one of the questions read as follows. which is worse, a:Having a dream you are eating chocolate ice cream in the nude, or b:Waking up from the dream with a spoon in your butt. it is a tough choice. after i became bored of that site i went to take one of those ink blot tests. it was quite a lengthy test and here is what it revealed about me:
Whether you know it or not, your unconscious mind is defending your internal emotional experiences. It acts like an emotional dam that helps you keep things in check. One reason for this could be that you have a deeply-rooted fear of being flooded by emotions. In response, your unconscious acts in the opposite manner, by protecting you from unpredictable, emotional tidal waves. While this tendency might be useful in some circumstances, it may also at times make your emotions hard to articulate or grasp. And that can lead to some frustration. Since you tend to appear level-headed to others, they feel they can count on you for sound opinions and advice. Another benefit of your unconscious drive is that it allows you to remain calm in the toughest of situations. This can be a real benefit for you during business negotiations or personal arguments because you're not apt to say damaging things that you'll have to apologize for later. The only hazard with this drive towards self-protection, is you might filter out good emotions as well as the bad. That can leave you feeling like something is missing, something you can't quite place. But ultimately, your unconscious is wise and will know if there is a time in the future where it would be beneficial to be different. Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Self-protection, there is much more to who you are at your core.
while reading that jargon it all seems to ring true, but i worry it is the same as that horoscope crap that you can relate anything to your life. like that MORON jon edwards and his ridiculous show crossing over. after making the giant mistake one day of watching that absolute ridiculousness i have come to the following conclusions. jon edwards is an idiot. the people who go on his show and listen to what he says, are idiots. people who watch his show on television on a regular basis, are idiots. the network people who continue to air his show, are geniuses for finding something so ludicrous that idiots will love. it seems all he does is walk out on stage, pick someone from the audience and then make up things. for example, he might say, "hmmm, i see a mark. does that name ring a bell?" and the gullible contestant would say "jeez, not really. oh wait, i once met a kid in college named mark. he was in my math class sophomore year. that is amazing!" and jon would then continue choosing unobscure names that the gullible contestant would find some connection with. he even goes as far to say mere letters. "i see an R, anything in your life begin with an R?", and the contestants never realize they are being duped by an unimpressive conartist. what the hell is wrong with people.

crappy weekend. ummm, here are some conversations i had on friday night. names have been omitted to protect the innocent/guilty.

conversation 1:
whitetrashkateer: you suck anybodys dick tonight?
*********: yeah a few guys
whitetrashkateer: well done
whitetrashkateer: as maddox claims girls are skanky bitches begging for it when you get down to it
*********: hahahahah
*********: maddox i s rihgt
*********: you are monre deformed thatn the elephant man
whitetrashkateer: not true
whitetrashkateer: actually that is the most false thing youve ever said
*********: ha you are the moast falzse thing i've ever sad
whitetrashkateer: that was a poorly constructed sentence
whitetrashkateer: by the way, you just made my blog for tomorrow
*********: you are a poorly constructed sentences
*********: NOOOOOO
*********: don't1
*********: you ass
*********: i hate you forever

conversation 2:
*********: fine thats the way its gonna be .. u lose.
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Auto response from whitetrashkateer: hanging with my only real friends, the girls in 411
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whitetrashkateer: oh yeah
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Auto response from *********: fucking loser. i hate you
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whitetrashkateer: that isnt too nice


conversation 3:
*********: what te fi k this is **** ***** an d me and **** are mad we arent your friends since whend?
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Auto response from whitetrashkateer: hanging with my only real friends, the girls in 411
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*********: we are the girls in ***
*********: we are your god mdamn friendsssssssssssssssss
*********: meanie
*********: ***** says you scuck
*********: haha
*********: jk
*********: we love you
*********: not
*********: too bad they are gu\\ugly girls

this weekend was genuinely not fun. i really can say with all honesty that despite a few bright points i would have been happier had this weekend never occurred. some of the highlights include playing pictionary and seeing rashawn stuck in the closet. im looking forward to going to work.