my eyes barely open, i stumble into my 8 oclock computation lab. as i fend off the desire to put my head down and sleep i try and put meaning to the meaningless babble the teacher spouts. i was paying attention then realized i was actually thinking about how nice my bed was and when i started to actually paying attention it was all gibberish. the teacher was using terms i had never heard of, and it sounded to me like the teachers on charlie brown. it made me happy however, to look at the other 14 students in my class. 4 were asleep, 3 were checking there email or surfing the web and the remaining 7 had the same empty stare as i had. my eyelids soon became too heavy and i dozed off, only to wake and realize that the entire class was gone and i was the only one in the classroom. i cant wait for that class next week so i can face my professor who clearly knows that her lectures bore me to tears.

what do you think of when you go to sleep? .... did you actually think about it or did you just call me an asshole for asking you a stupid question knowing that i would most likely never hear the answer. at any rate, i have found that what i think about has changed over the years. as a kid i found it comforting to picture myself making the gamesaving catch in a baseball game, or throwing a game winning touchdown at recess. as i recently have realized i now picture myself as an adult doing something that really matters in the real world. i havent really decided what the hell i want to do with my life but i think im getting closer. childhood dreams of being an "armyman" blowing the enemy up, or being a CIA/NSA operative havent really dissapated and my feeling that i would be good at this makes me lean toward that. military experience is, however, not only preferred but in fact virtually required in this field. i am not too keen on getting yelled at for 18 hours a day but who knows. it certainly takes a lot of choices away. this statement can be interpreted several different ways. while i wont HAVE to make many choices (what should i do today?), i also wont be ABLE to make many (No, i dont think i want to shoot anyone today). who knows.

skating was a blast although my hands got a little cold after awhile. the movie was kind of a let down due in part to the fact that entire portions of the movie were fabricated. it confuses me why when there is so much material that they omit due to time restraints they still replace the actual story with made up stuff. ill stop bitching now because im beginning to sound like that asshole who says "the book was so much better".

i find myself struggling to find a balance in life. i either have shitloads of stuff to do and have to rush (or more likely, not do some stuff) or i am foolishly efficient and do everything very timely and quickly leaving myself with nothing to do. i spend very little time in the middle of these two extremes. today i am in the first of these two extremes with tons of homework, errands to run, and things to accomplish and yet i have no desire to do them. for now i suppose i can sleep rather than putting that off as well.

last night was a great time. too cold to go out, we decided to have a mellow indoors night. black jack proved exceptionally fun although i did lose all of my money due to poor betting. today i may end up going ice skating, but im definitely going to finally see the 2nd lord of the rings movie. it should be a good time. plus football is on. this is the best weekend ever. not to mention it is 4 days long.

it was the longest line i had ever seen. kayla farah, and later marissa, stood with me in this line for what seemed for an eternity. in reality it was like half an hour but due to the fact that it was FREEZING out time seemed to stand still. we were waiting to see a free movie that has yet to be released. as an added bonus after seeing "The Life of David Gale", with kevin spacey, kevin spacey would be doing questions forum afterward. so not only did we get to see a great movie but also got to see and talk to kevin spacey. it was the best. i recommend watching the movie when it comes out by the way. at any rate, it was well worth waiting in the cold.