poke the bunny

yes, its true. Hakeem Olajuwan is a terrorist?

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolonglife. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, andthat's it ... don't waste them on exercise. Everythingwears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will notmake you live longer; that's like saying you canextend the life of your car by driving it faster. Wantto live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits andvegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does acow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanismof delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetableproducts.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy isdistilled wine, that means they take the water out ofthe fruity bit so you get even more of the goodnessthat way. Beer is also made out of grain.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat,your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, yourratio is two to one, etc.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these daysin vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it.How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit ups help prevent me from getting a littlesoft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it getsbigger. You should only be doing sit ups if you wanta bigger stomach.

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: Absolutely not. Take a look at manatees.

im not sure how i feel about this guy. there is great potential for this one. i debated several jokes as to how big his balls were, or how much of a man he was for fulfilling his bargain. being able to come up with nothing sufficiently witty i will write nothing.

as a side note, so much time was spent watching the puppy bowl, that minutes of the superbowl were missed due to excessive puppy bowl watching. it was real good.

while all of you suckers were watching the paul mccartney (sp?) superbowl suck show i decided to peruse some other channels. our remote controller worked its way to the animal planet channel. there, to our surprise was the Puppy Bowl. easily the most entertaining show ive seen in a month, it was comprised of a 3 hour birdseye view of about 8 puppies running around a mock stadium playing with each other. if a puppy did something cool, the instant replay team was there to catch it and replay it. it was awesome. as i recall, the 3 hour puppy bowl was replayed after the first one ended, so it played from 6-9 and from 9-12. by the time you get around to reading this, i will have most likely already purchased this soon to be cult classic, The Puppy Bowl. you can have yours for 9.95 plus s/h by following the link below.
The Puppy Bowl DVD