thanks go out to steph, brianna, sabrina, kayla, and courtney for leaving me messages of goodwill and cheer to brighten my day when i returned. for everyone who didnt leave me something, and especially for jerko1932 who left some weird pseudo sexual message, you can all go to hell. more on why im not at work right now, when i get less lazy.

can someone please explain to me the 12 days of christmas bullshit. first of all, id be pissed if i got a shitload of leaping lords and milking maids. secondly, since when is christmas more than one day. either ive been getting screwed for 20 years or that song is flawed. maybe the author of that song was thinking of hanukah, and they forgot to mention the elaborate candle holder and top with cryptic markings on it. i cant knock the latkas though. those things are the best. the only semi rational explanation i can come up with for that song is that the christians were competing with the jews. the conversation probably went something like this:

jew: "hey christian, we get to celebrate for 8 days sucka"
christian: "oh yeah jew? well we got, ummm, well, 12 days of christmas. not only that but everyone gets 5 golden rings and all kinds of crazy leaping lords and swimming swans!"
jew: "oh yeah stupid, well your 'messiah' was a jew. what does that tell you?"
christian: "his last name was christ, not christowitz you stupid jew!"

then they all had a good laugh, played dradle and read the bible.