so basically, today is my 21st birthday. good job me. i know what you are saying ... that it isnt really an accomplishment just to have a birthday. but i am here to tell you that it is. it did take me almost as long as everyone else to make it here, but i did have to overcome unbelievable odds. here are some memorable events over the past 21 years in which i am lucky to have escaped with my life. by the way, these will be in no kind of order other than the order in which i painfully remembert them. also, only one drug/alcohol story will be mentioned but ive had my share (of both) without any real bad consequences. but everyone has 'drunk i almost got killed stories'.
1. Age 15, myself, tristen lucas, and jesse bodwell decided to tube down the mascoma river after being warned the water was too high and quick. it was all good till our tubes and bodies were slashed and caught under a fallen tree beneath the water. we almost drowned only saved by our lightning quick reflexes and superhuman strength
2. Age 18, while in ecuador my girlfriend at the time got ahold of some hallucinegenic flowers that we ate. i however, went home to my host family and acted like a madman. they were not impressed and said that i was throwing things at my reflection in the mirror, running around naked, things of this nature.
3. Age 16, after breaking into saul lelchucks house, jesse bodwell, dennis clark, tristen lucas and myself escaped off the roof of his house and crawled navy seal style through the soggy forest to elude law enforcement agents.
4. Age ~5, i was smashed in the face with an aluminum baseball bat by my loving older brother leaving me with the hideous crunched in face i now have.
5. Age 18, again in ecuador celebrating the stunning kathryn spruill's birthday, i smashed my hand through a window in a (poor and fruitless) attempt to get at some candy from a recently smashed pinata. i received 8 stitches in easily the sketchiest hospital ive ever been in.
6. Age 6, while enjoying my only trip to florida in beautiful orlando, i sliced my index finger open with a knife trying to get the little plastic straw from a juicebox out of its plastic package. i consequently received 3 stitches, and was unable to go to Epcot(t?) center with my parents and siblings.
7. Age 16, with beau crawford, ben cochrane, andre lalimiuere, we constructed a pipe bomb and exploded a refridgerator. not our brightest moment.
8. Age 16, the same crew except we went into the forest filled a 5-gallon bucket with gasoline and threw a flaming object into it from a short distance away. no explosion, but the forest rained fire that day. oops.
9. Age 14, trying to be a hero, i went up onto my roof to retrieve a frisby that had been up there for years. i fell off right onto my moms garden. i never confessed, plus this is the first time ive ever told anyone i even fell off the roof. it was a crushing blow to my pride.
10. Age 19, after partying hard at keene state, jacob kramer and i returned for an early morning of work. i dozed off while on the highway and woke up with my truck on an on ramp to a weigh station. so if the weigh station wasnt there i would have been in the woods. dead.
11. Age 16, driving home from work on a backroad in danbury, i miscalculated a turn due to my rapid velocity and flipped my car atleast once. i was hanging from my seatbelt, and didnt even have a scratch on me.
12. Age 15, i said "fuck you" to my father for the first time. he tried to strangle me then sent me to my room after kicking me several times. i was VERY scared.
13. Age 15-18, going to school in my high school was very dangerous. as i walked the halls one out of every 3 people is a potential columbine gun toting maniac. there were many incidents throughout my stay at the fine Mascoma Valley Regional High School that make this a valid addition to the list.
14. Age 8, while performing a risky dismount from a lowquality set of swings, i landed on my neck and though i was paralyzed. then i got up and did some more swinging.
15. Age 18, in ecuador i (and friends) got mugged outside a club by some street toughs. one of whom i got into a moderate altercation with. if they had had weapons ... bye bye silly americans.
16. Age 13, i think i got poisoned by something. anyway, i got real real sick and it sucked.
17. Age 7, i was desperately trying to win an under water breath holding contest and i cut it pretty close, by passing out under water nearly foreiting my life. another good choice.
18. Age 16, at will meyers house, i let him run over my toe with his explorer. i wasnt close to death but it hurt a lot.
19. Age 6, while my father ran a boyscout camp in the summer of 89 i got lost in the vast forest surrounding the camp. eventually someone found me by walking toward the wailing and worried screams of some little lost kid.
well, that is all i can think of right now ... but if youve witnessed me doing something extra stupid in which i put my life at risk, please let me know.
Thursday, October 09, 2003
this will likely be the best weekend of all time, and perhaps the last weekend of all time. last weekend was great with the lovely lindsay coming to visit me, but this weekend has absurd amounts of potential. theres the fact that the redsox might have the chance to win the pennant on sunday/saturday, plus, oh yeah, i turn 21 on saturday. oh sweet sassy molassy.