at the gym, me and the chrises were again blessed with the presence of the girl ive dubbed, 'the most beautiful girl alive'. there arent a whole lot of things better than watching her on the stairmaster machine. if anyone knows anything about this girl please let me know. she has been added to the list of people i would marry on the spot. some other members of this club (this is only a partial list):

Natalie Portman
The Olsen Twins (either one, or preferably both)
Hedda Burnett
Jennifer Love Hewitt
the hot blonde i saw on the T yesterday
Kelly Kapowski
the tomato slaw cafeteria employee
Anna Kournikova
Kelly Packard
Star Jones
Julia Louis Dreyfus

that was quite possibly the best meal ive ever had. except when we ate at wendy's after my night in jail. that one was probably better.

after stumbling to the columbus lot to catch my ride to work, i knew that i would be doomed all day. i was checking my email and i fell asleep face down on my keyboard for close to an hour before someone saw me and woke me up. i thought it would be a good idea if i wore the same clothes to work as i did drinking last night but im not sure my coworkers agree. so far i have been told that i smell like drugs, a dead wino, and an alley. i sure am glad to be at work.

"i wouldnt sleep with britney spears if she was canadien" -jenkins
"dude, i would sleep with anyone" -alex

holy crap, i just tried the same thing with korean. it started off as:
Korean is a foolish language, and their country is full of assholes.
translated twice to get:
A Korean the lingering one language and they country are the fool of the anus
translated twice more to get:
A Korean for a long time one language which puts and they foolish me is the anus at the outside.
translated twice more to get:
It puts and the hour one language and for lingering grudge they a Korean outside is the anus in me.

i wont tell you how many more times i did this, but it was seldom better than that last one: 'a Korean outside is the anus in me'. priceless.

original text
I was bored today at work, so I thought that I would write a small meaningless entry, and translate it to spanish, then back to english to find out just how ridiculous it was.

spanish translation
Me aburrieron hoy en el trabajo, pensé tan que escribiría una entrada sin sentido pequeña, y lo traduzco al español, después de nuevo a inglés para descubrir apenas cómo es ridículo era.

and back to english
They today bored me in the work, I thought so that an entrance without small sense would write, and I translate the Spanish, after new to English discovering hardly how it is ridiculous was.

marvelous. this fine service can be found here. enjoy.

i just had my 200th comment. yippee.

im sofa king tired right now. i have fallen asleep countless times here at my desk and im now going to seek out a nice place to hide and sleep.

manatees are dumb. not only that, they look disgusting and i cannot see any contribution they make to the worlds ecosystem. sure they date back 45 million years, but that is all the more reason to finish them off. make room for newer cooler species. there are only an estimated 3000 florida manatees left, with about 10 percent of those croaking every year. supposedly, in 50 years the population will be down to 1500. that is not fast enough. i am sincere in my thoughts that we should kill every last one of these vegetarian 'sea cows'. look at them, they are just big dumb animals that get chopped up by happy boaters doing significant damage to said boaters equipment. there are several good reasons to slaughter the florida manatees. 1) they are an untapped resource for food. 2) hidden cures for disease are likely to be found in their blubber. 3) less damage to boat propellers and hulls. 4) no more 'save the manatee' groups, so they can return to the real world and see how big of losers they are. and 5) make room for new advanced species with teeth and claws and stuff. so please join me in my crusade to rid the world of these fat stupid mammals.

after a battle to the death with a member of the financial aid customer service staff at northeastern university, i have unequivocably made my point. instead of owing 9,134 dollars they in fact owe me 2,536. bitches. not to mention they will owe me another fat sack of cash come fall. once again, the under achieving lazy spendthrift is able to defeat the evil private educational institution.

morpheus got kinda fat since the last matrix movie

i heard there might be trouble with the right click, save target as method, so everyone might be better off just doing get file from me. it is only a little over a megabyte so download times should be short. feel free to steal from me, i dont have to authorize it, assuming i know you (your on my buddylist). spread this file far and wide ... ps, its also on direct connect now.

oh jeff. unfortunately for you i have tapped into the resources of my computer and was able to put some audio to your "dancing". the end is a little choppier than i would have liked and it is a bit dark. i recommend using windows media player to watch it and use the enhancement feature to brighten it up. ive found a brightness level of 31 is pretty good. anyway, the long awaited video clip is now available for download here at mattio's lounge. due to the fact that downloading can be slow, northeastern students atleast will likely get it quicker by using the 'get file' feature on your instant messenger. it is called Jeff Dancing, or something like that. if not, right click, save target as, and enjoy:

Jeff Dances!!!