credits to hamel for finding this website. if any female reader is wondering why "all guys are the same", it is because we are a highly disciplined group governed by these rules.

while writing a paper today i typed the word "failed" and a few moments later it had a squiggly green line under it. this line usually denotes a grammatical error so i right clicked it to see what the deal was. as a suggestion it said "did not fail". im not sure why microsoft word thought i would rather have "did not fail" when i typed "failed". bill gates is a dick eater.

FOREVER27 JD: dude this is a convo l actually had

Laquisha15696945 (12:11:02 PM): hey sugar wanna night full of hot lovin;-) check out mywebcam
FOREVER27 JD (12:11:26 PM): nah how bout u watch my webcam
FOREVER27 JD (12:11:35 PM): its probly a lot better than urs
Laquisha15696945 (12:11:40 PM): oh really
FOREVER27 JD (12:11:55 PM): damn straight
Laquisha15696945 (12:12:33 PM): where you from
FOREVER27 JD (12:12:45 PM): boston area
Laquisha15696945 (12:12:53 PM): you got a girl
FOREVER27 JD (12:12:58 PM): yup
Laquisha15696945 (12:14:24 PM): haha...later sugar
FOREVER27 JD (12:14:30 PM): good luck there
Laquisha15696945 signed off at 12:15:39 PM.

i received this email from my brother: "Saw a license plate this morning on a minivan - GOTMILF. I think there was a baby seat in it."

similar to normal procedure, kinlin, hamel and myself left the room to go to the gym. upon exiting the elevator on the 1st floor we were confronted by two policemen. the cops immediately singled out both hamel and kinlin saying "wow, look at you, youre stoned already". to which all three of us responded "huh?". the police continued to try and persuade us that the two of them were clearly high and that they were busted. during this strange interogation i sort of began to laugh and chuckle asking "is this for real?" and "what the hell is going on?". evidently the cops had gotten 2 reports of people smoking in the building and for some reason thought it would be us. perhaps because we were all wearing sweatshirts and have bloodshot eyes from being stupidly sick, and amazingly overtired. at any rate, we received no apology and only a half assed justification "you two match the descriptions cause he has a white hat on". that is just weak. little do they know there is nothing we like more than smoking a ton of pot in the dorm, then going immediately to the gym. what morons.

check out the airball that was caught in the photo.

self explanatory.

my very first picture. jeff is out of his mind. notice the marker beard he allowed us to draw on him.

this is a photo of joe screaming into his microphone which is plugged into hamels head. hamel is recipricating the screaming, hence the title.

i have recently begun implementing the plan proposed by maddox. if you are not already, i urge everyone to do the same. it is actually quite a lot of fun. picture their faces when they open a credit card application and find a Tina's pizza burrito wraper.

since i am going crazy with entries today, i feel it is a good time to get a few things off my chest (and yes, i have mentioned all of these before to people, and specifically last night i said everything im about to write). i am sick and tired of hearing "guys always leave the seat up" or something close to that. we dont bitch that we have to lift it up everytime so SHUT UP about it. its not even that hard. you dont have to do anymore than tap it with your hand or leg and gravity does the rest. it seriously bothers me when i see "denial is the first sign of addiction". for example, if someone asks me if im addicted to heroin i have 2 choices. 1.) Lie, say im addicted. 2.) Tell the truth, 'deny' it and i demonstrate the first sign of addiction so its only natural to assume im addicted. it doesnt make any sense.

my afternoon classes were cancelled today. ive already convinced myself that classes will be cancelled tomorrow too. so im not gonna do my homework. states of emergency are the best. plus arent we on some heightened threat level for terrorist attacks code orange or something ridiculous. maybe god is a terrorist and this storm is what we were warned about.

ive always sort of thought of my math skills as a tool like reading. i never put much effort in, and i guess i assumed that i could call upon them at my will and did not need to study or do homework. after receiving my calc midterm i realized that this is not the case. i am getting very tired of being the dumbest person in every single one of my classes.

right now, after writing all of those entries, i feel i am in some bad shape. i have to use the bathroom, need to shower, need to shave, im hungry, im dizzy, im tired, and i have class in an hour. this sudden burst of activity in my lounge is due to a scolding i received from sabrina wood(s?) that she went on vacation for a week and came back to see no new entries for her to read. sorry. in the future i will try and be more proactive writing entries. that last statement was a total lie. i will do nothing different.

professor kate ziemer may be a very smart lady, but she really needs to work on her erasing. it bothers me to a degree that i care not address. when she erases the blackboard to do another problem she leaves all kinds of chalk making each following problem impossible for me to think about because all i can do is stare at the bits and pieces of other numbers and diagrams. who decided that chalkboards should be that annoying green color anyway? what is wrong with black. i saw some blue ones one time, they were cool. i think brick red chalk boards would be cool too.

boston is currently caught up in a ridiculous snow storm. as i gaze out the window a common word from my childhood comes to mind: whiteout. the world beyond 20 feet is all white. now, boston isnt supposed to get much snow. last year we got about 3 inches. this year we have absolutely gotten dumped on. i ask you, WHAT IS GOING ON? and i answer, the world is coming to its end. perhaps you were all to naive to realize this, but let me point out some clear indications of this. 1.) absurd amounts of precipitation 2.) ridiculous extremes of temperatures from downright hot to mind bogglingly cold 3.) the "war on terror" mysteriously turned into the "war on iraq so we get cheap oil" 4.) jeff allen makes the paper for non-alcohol related reasons 5.) the fox network broadcasts and rebroadcasts its unparalleled work entitled "man vs. beast" and finally 6.) what is with all this goddamn snow

last night i had the forethought to scribble the following message on a notepad(the second was written by a drunk jerk afterwards. the notes are transcribed exactly spelling errror included, so dont tell me i used too many n's):
"Nobody pukes anymore. I wanna see some people puke."
-joe
(directly below that)
"fa shizzle, I dont wannna puke or have dicks up my ass".
(signed) chris grange and chris kinlin