Friday, June 10, 2005
this is actually really cool. it worked best for me when i didnt choose the yellow dots to stare at. i used a point in the middle of the 3.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
"she just gave you the finger ... the middle one"
-Ben
check this out, not too too exciting, but if youre bored, it is worth knowing about, i guess.
what the hell does teen spirit smell like anyway? cause i think i smell some.
-Ben
check this out, not too too exciting, but if youre bored, it is worth knowing about, i guess.
what the hell does teen spirit smell like anyway? cause i think i smell some.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
the following is taken directly from a Glaceau Vitamin Water bottle. i havent altered the capitalization or punctuation in any way, except whats in brackets:
formula 50
grape (50% daily dose) [daily dose of grape?]
50 cent's new album is bound to go platinum. so formula 50 decided to go platinum too. not to be outdone, we are happy to announce the release of our own album, "hydrate or die tryin'"[good god]. all we need is one little shout out at the MTV video music awards. suckaz be movin' out the way at them beverage conferences [WHAT!?!]. plus, our drink has the nutrients you need to fuel you through your day. that's just how we roll here in queens [bottled in Whitestone, NY, which is plenty close enough, but still].
vitamins + water = all you need [doubt it]
the inside is natural, the outside is plastic. [under the nutrition facts: contains less than 1% juice]
i cant believe it. plus the "water" is a fairy pinky purple color. i refuse to taste it.
formula 50
grape (50% daily dose) [daily dose of grape?]
50 cent's new album is bound to go platinum. so formula 50 decided to go platinum too. not to be outdone, we are happy to announce the release of our own album, "hydrate or die tryin'"[good god]. all we need is one little shout out at the MTV video music awards. suckaz be movin' out the way at them beverage conferences [WHAT!?!]. plus, our drink has the nutrients you need to fuel you through your day. that's just how we roll here in queens [bottled in Whitestone, NY, which is plenty close enough, but still].
vitamins + water = all you need [doubt it]
the inside is natural, the outside is plastic. [under the nutrition facts: contains less than 1% juice]
i cant believe it. plus the "water" is a fairy pinky purple color. i refuse to taste it.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
i spent the fist half of my morning looking for grad school programs. the second half of my morning was spent looking for real jobs (read: chemical engineering jobs). i decided on neither.
lunch review
location: Solomon Pond Mall
restaraunt: Master Wok
meal: The General's Chicken over flavorless brown fried rice
soda: Coke ... tasted suspiciously like Diet Coke
conversation topics: what kelis meant by 'milkshake', japanese views on ghengis khan and the mongols, average nipple size, when it is reasonable to classify rice as 'sticky white rice', and the phrase, "yummy mummy bummy".
lunch review
location: Solomon Pond Mall
restaraunt: Master Wok
meal: The General's Chicken over flavorless brown fried rice
soda: Coke ... tasted suspiciously like Diet Coke
conversation topics: what kelis meant by 'milkshake', japanese views on ghengis khan and the mongols, average nipple size, when it is reasonable to classify rice as 'sticky white rice', and the phrase, "yummy mummy bummy".
Monday, June 06, 2005
so here is what i was gonna write about today:
joe dooling. he is sorta the man. and he atleast acted like it last night when he skipped the getting drunk portion of the night so as to be a legal and safe driver. thanks joe. the waterworks is a good time.
on an entirely unrelated note, i find myself (in general) flip flopping back and forth between being ridiculously excited about something to being numbingly bored with it.
on another unrelated note, my boss isnt here today. and, after wandering around for a few hours and asking about him, i was finally allowed to know where he is. his wife had a baby. so he is presumably dealing with the whole "im a dad" thing. i have taken the situation to mean that now i dont even have to pretend that im doing work. i can look as bored and useless as i feel. previously, i would move from hideout to hideout so only a couple people knew where i was at any given time. i also spent a great deal of time sitting at colleens desk or in the E-test room reading. this is how i finished cryptonomicon (which by the way, has the lamest ending to a 1200 page book that i could ever have imagined). if at any location, 3 different employees or 1 manager saw me, i would nonchalantly (sp) move to my next hideout. a sort of rotation around the buildings seldom used rooms. i had other rules as well, for example if the same employee saw me twice in the same spot more than half hour apart, i had to move immediately. but if it was less, then i waited 10 minutes before relocating. i had perfected my now abandoned method for doing no work in a given day. this was easy, because, quite literally, i havent had a single bit of work for over a week. not one thing. every once and awhile i would have to scramble and look busy. but i never did anything. i spend a lot of time pretending to look at my notebook. it looks like im working, but im not. sometimes ill make a big scene of turning the pages when my desk area is invaded with people. even more rarely ill put on my lab coat and wander around the lab making sure people see me in there. then i move to the next spot.
joe dooling. he is sorta the man. and he atleast acted like it last night when he skipped the getting drunk portion of the night so as to be a legal and safe driver. thanks joe. the waterworks is a good time.
on an entirely unrelated note, i find myself (in general) flip flopping back and forth between being ridiculously excited about something to being numbingly bored with it.
on another unrelated note, my boss isnt here today. and, after wandering around for a few hours and asking about him, i was finally allowed to know where he is. his wife had a baby. so he is presumably dealing with the whole "im a dad" thing. i have taken the situation to mean that now i dont even have to pretend that im doing work. i can look as bored and useless as i feel. previously, i would move from hideout to hideout so only a couple people knew where i was at any given time. i also spent a great deal of time sitting at colleens desk or in the E-test room reading. this is how i finished cryptonomicon (which by the way, has the lamest ending to a 1200 page book that i could ever have imagined). if at any location, 3 different employees or 1 manager saw me, i would nonchalantly (sp) move to my next hideout. a sort of rotation around the buildings seldom used rooms. i had other rules as well, for example if the same employee saw me twice in the same spot more than half hour apart, i had to move immediately. but if it was less, then i waited 10 minutes before relocating. i had perfected my now abandoned method for doing no work in a given day. this was easy, because, quite literally, i havent had a single bit of work for over a week. not one thing. every once and awhile i would have to scramble and look busy. but i never did anything. i spend a lot of time pretending to look at my notebook. it looks like im working, but im not. sometimes ill make a big scene of turning the pages when my desk area is invaded with people. even more rarely ill put on my lab coat and wander around the lab making sure people see me in there. then i move to the next spot.
When Vin Diesel told the Microsoft Word paper clip to go away, it never came back
Vin created belt buckles to prevent his waist from shooting lasers
Aliens sent the Y2K bug to kill Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel answered by having sex with Kirsten Dunst and Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day
Vin Diesel can bench press three hundred--three hundred galaxies, that is
When Vin Diesel is bored he farts into a pool of water which then attracts stray cats and ironically stray dogs, then he watches them fight to the death, he likes it best when the dogs win and celebrates their victory by eating a guitar
It was rumored that Vin Diesel once had sex with Death. When asked about this, Diesel replied "Yeah, I shagged Death once. It was awesome. She swallows."
Instead of chewing his food, Vin Diesel swallows his prey whole and then washes them down with battery acid and nail polish remover. Oh, and Vin realizes the battery acid destroys any nutrients from the food, you fool, but his ability to steal oxygen and nutrients from the Amazon Rain Forest keep him from being malnourished
Vin Diesel can not distinguish between babies and bagels
Everybody Loves Raymond. Except Vin Diesel; he fuckin hates that guy
The universe was created when Vin Diesel punched god in the face. This event was later named the big bang theory
Vin Diesel does not "drop it like it's hot." To suggest that anything would be too hot for him to hold is laughable
Vin Diesel created the first wristwatch, but instead of telling you the time, it shouted racial slurs at you, in Vin Diesel's voice
Nintendo's Super Mario Bros series is based on Vin Diesel's experiences during his stint as an Italian plumber. However, Vin Diesel gave up after his third time being told that the princess was, in yet another castle
Vin Diesel brushes his teeth with a saw
All months used to have 32 days, but Vin Diesel demanded a sacrifice from each month. February refused to comply, so Vin Diesel fucked the month up for good by making it the worst month ever
Vin Diesel invented Spanish, but not Spain. Por que? Porque he COULD
Never play Rock, Paper, Scissor with Vin Diesel; he can read minds - and he never holds back
If you ask Vin Diesel "How much wood would a wooodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood," Vin Diesel will promptly chuck a woodchuck through your skull
ok, i guess thats enough. i really like that site.
Vin created belt buckles to prevent his waist from shooting lasers
Aliens sent the Y2K bug to kill Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel answered by having sex with Kirsten Dunst and Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day
Vin Diesel can bench press three hundred--three hundred galaxies, that is
When Vin Diesel is bored he farts into a pool of water which then attracts stray cats and ironically stray dogs, then he watches them fight to the death, he likes it best when the dogs win and celebrates their victory by eating a guitar
It was rumored that Vin Diesel once had sex with Death. When asked about this, Diesel replied "Yeah, I shagged Death once. It was awesome. She swallows."
Instead of chewing his food, Vin Diesel swallows his prey whole and then washes them down with battery acid and nail polish remover. Oh, and Vin realizes the battery acid destroys any nutrients from the food, you fool, but his ability to steal oxygen and nutrients from the Amazon Rain Forest keep him from being malnourished
Vin Diesel can not distinguish between babies and bagels
Everybody Loves Raymond. Except Vin Diesel; he fuckin hates that guy
The universe was created when Vin Diesel punched god in the face. This event was later named the big bang theory
Vin Diesel does not "drop it like it's hot." To suggest that anything would be too hot for him to hold is laughable
Vin Diesel created the first wristwatch, but instead of telling you the time, it shouted racial slurs at you, in Vin Diesel's voice
Nintendo's Super Mario Bros series is based on Vin Diesel's experiences during his stint as an Italian plumber. However, Vin Diesel gave up after his third time being told that the princess was, in yet another castle
Vin Diesel brushes his teeth with a saw
All months used to have 32 days, but Vin Diesel demanded a sacrifice from each month. February refused to comply, so Vin Diesel fucked the month up for good by making it the worst month ever
Vin Diesel invented Spanish, but not Spain. Por que? Porque he COULD
Never play Rock, Paper, Scissor with Vin Diesel; he can read minds - and he never holds back
If you ask Vin Diesel "How much wood would a wooodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood," Vin Diesel will promptly chuck a woodchuck through your skull
ok, i guess thats enough. i really like that site.
there is something i had planned on writing about. i dont really remember though. i do have a hazy memory of this, and i think kinlin and hamel know. i remember them saying that they would remind me. or maybe that was a dream. who knows.
i almost slept through work today. woke up 45 minutes late to my phone ringing. i must have gotten up on time and shut off my alarm. though i dont remember. maybe i never turned it on. we went to the waterworks last night. it was pretty good. the amount of unapproachable beautiful girls was astounding. hungover at work is the WORST.
i heard this joke the other day: The great noontide or the recline of the west! pretty good, no?
i almost slept through work today. woke up 45 minutes late to my phone ringing. i must have gotten up on time and shut off my alarm. though i dont remember. maybe i never turned it on. we went to the waterworks last night. it was pretty good. the amount of unapproachable beautiful girls was astounding. hungover at work is the WORST.
i heard this joke the other day: The great noontide or the recline of the west! pretty good, no?