while going over the calculus exam in class i was trying to mentally subtract the points i got wrong from the total. when everything was done i tallied it all up and i came up with a negative number. i think that the root of my math woes may lie deeper than i originally thought.

whitetrashkateer: what homework do you have due
UncleHankIV: about 12 hours worth
UncleHankIV: prolly more
UncleHankIV: i made a list actually... hold on a sec
UncleHankIV: 2 chem labs, 2 chem lab write-ups, 120 pgs poetry reading, 15 analysis entries, a hugeass poetry project, read a ch. in history, all of chpter 5 calculus, memorize formulas for calc, 12 spanish journals, some dumbass clay house project (no fucking clue what that is... a physics lab and write-up, some centrifugal/ whatever force reading, a couple chem worksheets, learn some song i'm singing in the concert in a couplle days, and study for about 4 tests and 8 quizzes HHAHHAHAHA YEAH RIGHT
UncleHankIV: i'm going to fail this quarter
UncleHankIV: crash and burn
UncleHankIV: friggen amelia earheart or whatever her name was... that's me
whitetrashkateer: haha you moron
UncleHankIV: yup
UncleHankIV: whatever i'll just tell my teachers i tried to commit suicide or something
UncleHankIV: kinda mean but it'll work
whitetrashkateer: dont be ridiculous
UncleHankIV: yeah, then i'd have to see the school therapist lady, that would suck
UncleHankIV: Gina Cappacrazy
moments later ...
UncleHankIV: i think my stomcah is digesting itself. fuck this no-doz shit
UncleHankIV: i shouldn't have taken three
whitetrashkateer: big mistake
whitetrashkateer: ive never really taken no doz
UncleHankIV: i hadn't before. lauren puked after two of them
UncleHankIV: so im smart, took three.
moments later ...
UncleHankIV: read this poem by william carlos williams (good name... WCW, what a jerk)
UncleHankIV: Among
UncleHankIV: of
UncleHankIV: green
UncleHankIV: stiff
UncleHankIV: old
UncleHankIV: bright
UncleHankIV: broken
UncleHankIV: branch
UncleHankIV: come
UncleHankIV: white
UncleHankIV: sweet
UncleHankIV: may
UncleHankIV: again.
whitetrashkateer: is it written like that, all choppy on different lines
UncleHankIV: yeah. i could write that shit in 9 seconds. throw me a fucking pen.

Matt's Theories About College

1. Physics, Calculus and Chemistry are all the same exact class. while the argument could be made that they are different, they are not. sure, they have a few unique qualities but each are intertwined into a twisted mess of numbers and variables.

2. The key to maximizing the effectiveness of class is knowing when to begin paying attention, and when to stop. most professors are paid researchers who have a great expertise in a lot of stuff not pertanent to the class whatsoever. if you try and listen and take notes on everything you will have to make a choice: a.) have nothing in your notebook but pay attention or b.) take notes like crazy and have no idea what they mean.

3. Teachers are not as good as they say they are at catching people who copy. they ARE bluffing.

4. It all DOES depend on the teacher.

5. It is impossible to do everything for every class. there is always another project to work on, homework to do, or studying/reading to be done. inevitably no one can do it all so it is key to prioritize your work and do what is most necessary first.

6. Books are grossly overpriced. i paid more than half as much on books this quarter as i did for tuition and room and board combined.

7. The cafeteria is a scam. when you do the math and realize each meal costs over ten dollars think about the amount of food you could buy elsewhere and you will no doubt come to the same conclusion that i have: the school run cafeteria is just another way to steal our money.

8. It is not important what you learn in class. grades are all that matters. the very fact that youve seen the material prepares you enough for the job market. there isnt a job in the world that wont train you.

9. Most professors are pompous assholes who like to make you look and feel dumb and show how smart they are. beware of 20 minute or more tangents on some super advanced or cool thing they are working on. nobody cares.

10. Sleeping is for the weak and unmotivated.

11. There will be PLENTY of time later.

12. Because of inhuman tuition costs it is your duty to take advantage of the "system" as much as possible.

13. There is no grade so poor that it cant be cancelled out with a good solid night of sin, underaged drinking, and dabauchery.

i spent all day today, thinking, yes! no work due tomorrow so i can split up the stuff due wednesday and both evenings will be stress free and worryless. well, as i need not remind you i am an idiot. as i sit now trying to maintain conciousness like an old lady after being beaten by mike tyson, i know because of my laziness tomorrow will be hell on earth. perhaps it wont be that bad. the weather couldnt get much worse ... today the wind felt like constantly being slapped by a tennis racket. i also dont have to receive any more exams on which i clearly couldnt have cared less about my answers. i have completed all but one of those obnoxious teacher evaluation forms the other of which will no doubt be given to me tomorrow. i do have to study for a "midterm" for a class who's final i take in less then a week. i also have 3 comp lab assignments due. not too mention i havent done the prelab for my 4 oclock class or mentally prepared myself to be bored to the point of suicide contemplation in my 8 am. so basically to recap, tomorrow will still suck, plus i complain a lot.

i have spent approximately the last hour or so reading this website that joe sent me. i implore you, especially all my thousands of female readers, take some time to read this. i would probably have to read it from beginning to end about 4 more times to find something that i didnt agree with. in every relationship that i have a.) been in, or b.) witnessed any part of, this theory has rang true. the author appears to have spent a good deal of time on it and his style reminds me quite a bit of maddox with the same basic cynisism and mathematical approach. i would particularly like to call attention to the part on ladder jumping as i myself have unsucessfully attempted the ladder jump on many occasions.

DAREDEVIL IS BAD. DO NOT WATCH IT.

here is a link that made me chuckle. as i sent it to virtually everyone on my buddylist i got varying response. "reminds me of highschool", - ricky richter, "that kid is my idol", -mark ibey, "youve sent me too many porn links so im not clicking on this", - just about everybody else.

today started off incredibly horrible. last night i received the shitty news that one of my boys from home was going to war. luke pyle is gonna be guarding some civilian ship and leaves on friday. that put me in a pretty terrible mood, not too mention i didnt finish either of my homework problems due this morning. so basically, i had all of that hanging over my head with the additional weights of trying to beat the judicial system by lying about servicing the community, finding an apartment, studying for an exam and two quizzes for tomorrow along with my matlab programs which is also due tomorrow and was completely unstarted. i was all business, making a list of stuff to do and getting things done one by one. as we speak i am taking a break with only some note copying and studying to be done. some might say im a champion. i prefer chainsaw... or tomahawk.

for some unknown reason there was an energy shortage or something. at any rate the library computers would be unavailable past 10 o clock this evening. as i rushed over to finish my stupid assignment in Maple, i wondered if i would have enough time to get it done. as it turns out i completed the work but about 5 minutes before i did the 15 minute announcement was made so everyone in the entire room printed whatever work they had. i personally feel it is inconsiderate and pretty rude to click print and then not go up and get them till the end making the stacks that i have to search through for mine huge. however when i went up to check the printing status i saw that there were some 150 print jobs before mine. with an estimated average of 5 pages per job that is 800 pages. rather than wait the 20 minutes it would require to complete all of this and retrieve my printout i said quite loudly, "Fuck this, you can keep it" and walked angrily out.

credits to hamel for finding this website. if any female reader is wondering why "all guys are the same", it is because we are a highly disciplined group governed by these rules.

while writing a paper today i typed the word "failed" and a few moments later it had a squiggly green line under it. this line usually denotes a grammatical error so i right clicked it to see what the deal was. as a suggestion it said "did not fail". im not sure why microsoft word thought i would rather have "did not fail" when i typed "failed". bill gates is a dick eater.

FOREVER27 JD: dude this is a convo l actually had

Laquisha15696945 (12:11:02 PM): hey sugar wanna night full of hot lovin;-) check out mywebcam
FOREVER27 JD (12:11:26 PM): nah how bout u watch my webcam
FOREVER27 JD (12:11:35 PM): its probly a lot better than urs
Laquisha15696945 (12:11:40 PM): oh really
FOREVER27 JD (12:11:55 PM): damn straight
Laquisha15696945 (12:12:33 PM): where you from
FOREVER27 JD (12:12:45 PM): boston area
Laquisha15696945 (12:12:53 PM): you got a girl
FOREVER27 JD (12:12:58 PM): yup
Laquisha15696945 (12:14:24 PM): haha...later sugar
FOREVER27 JD (12:14:30 PM): good luck there
Laquisha15696945 signed off at 12:15:39 PM.

i received this email from my brother: "Saw a license plate this morning on a minivan - GOTMILF. I think there was a baby seat in it."

similar to normal procedure, kinlin, hamel and myself left the room to go to the gym. upon exiting the elevator on the 1st floor we were confronted by two policemen. the cops immediately singled out both hamel and kinlin saying "wow, look at you, youre stoned already". to which all three of us responded "huh?". the police continued to try and persuade us that the two of them were clearly high and that they were busted. during this strange interogation i sort of began to laugh and chuckle asking "is this for real?" and "what the hell is going on?". evidently the cops had gotten 2 reports of people smoking in the building and for some reason thought it would be us. perhaps because we were all wearing sweatshirts and have bloodshot eyes from being stupidly sick, and amazingly overtired. at any rate, we received no apology and only a half assed justification "you two match the descriptions cause he has a white hat on". that is just weak. little do they know there is nothing we like more than smoking a ton of pot in the dorm, then going immediately to the gym. what morons.

check out the airball that was caught in the photo.