yeah, i have sort of been busy at work.

im at work now. started on monday. man i am going to delete this later cause it is boring me as i write it.

way to go hanover pa, way to go

If anyone can give a home to this cat please let me know. just look at how adorable it is.

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had
some items in front of him. When the class began,
silently he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and
proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in
diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was
full? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas
between the rocks. He then asked the students again if
the jar was full. They again agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it
into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything
else.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize
that this is your life.

The rocks are the important things - your family, your
partner, your health, your children - things that if
everything else was lost and only they remained, your
life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your
job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff." "If you
put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for
the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your
life. If you spend all your time and energy on the
small stuff, you will never have room for the things
that are important to you. Pay attention to the things
that are critical to your happiness. Play with your
children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your
partner out dancing. There will always be time to go
to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix
the disposal."

"Take care of the rocks first - the things that really
matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

But then... A student then took the jar which the
other students and the professor agreed was full, and
proceeded to pour in a bottle of Corona. Of course the
beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making
the jar truly full.

The moral of this tale is:
- that no matter how full your life is, there is
always room for beer.

"if you smell good and keep your ass clean, somebody is bound to like you"
advice given to a coworker from his father

two very important affairs of state. first, as is my style, i try and leave myself the smallest amount of time possible to come up with a halloween costume, despite thinking up thousands of excellent choices throughout the year. so, to have a record, i will begin posting them when inspirado strikes. costume that inspired this revolutionary process: the question-mark suit guy with that crappy commercial about his crappy book.

second, as many are sick of hearing, kinlin and i plan to get dogs this coming june (when we move out of this apartment), and among a myriad of other pre-puppy preparations, choosing my widdle puppies name is at the top of the list. due to a lengthy history of impulsive decisions (look at my shoulders), i have compiled a list of possible names ... my roomates and st. louis already know which im leaning towards but it would be 'nice' to get the often pessimistic and condescending input of my readers.
THE LIST:
Bailey
Splinter
Jeff Allen
Milo
Col. Mustard
Otis
Malcolm
Number 2
Armani
Fisher
Headzo
Mr. Peterman
Lord Kelvin

who decided who got to be on money? i say, coins .... who cares. 1 dollar bill, lets stick with the 1st president. i thought lincoln deserved a little better than the 5 spot after getting stuck on the worthless/filthy penny. however, he does his face out there more. does ben franklin deserve to be on the 100$. i dont think so. what about jackson and grant? what have they done? i dont know. and i bet a lot of other people dont know either. why not a president that we are brought up in school to think is great ... roosevelt, kennedy, etc. someone who made great strides for our country, or made a nobel peace prize effort in the middle east, i dunno. atleast something. here is my plan for restructuring who is on our currency:

Denomination: Penny
Current: Abraham Lincoln
Proposed: why not keep it simple, lowest coin and lowest dollar .... George Washington

Denomination: Nickel
Current: Thomas Jefferson
Proposed: Jefferson was the man, much better than John Adams, he keeps the nickel

Denomination: Dime
Current: Franklin D. Roosevelt
Proposed: Dimes suck, sorry FDR, but i do think you should keep this one

Denomination: Quarter
Current: George Washington
Proposed: I think Lincoln would be a better fit

Denomination: Half-Dollar
Current: I dont know
Proposed: who cares, i cant remember the last time i saw one of these

Denomination: Dollar Coin
Current: Sacagewea
Proposed: to keep it interesting i think this should rotate. 4 years after a presidents final term he gets as many years on the dollar coin as he was in office. for the record i fucking hate dollar coins.

Denomination: Dollar
Current: George Washington
Proposed: Nice choice whoever, he stays.

Denomination: 2 Dollar
Current: Thomas Jefferson
Proposed: John F. Kennedy, plus they should start printing them again

Denomination: 5 Dollar
Current: Abraham Lincoln
Proposed: Ben Franklin, that oughtta take him down a peg or two

Denomination: 10 Dollar
Current: Alexander Hamilton
Proposed: John Adams

Denomination: 20 Dollar
Current: Andrew Jackson
Proposed: Thomas Jefferson

Denomination: 50 Dollar
Current: Ulysses S. Grant
Proposed: Abraham Lincoln, this guy was the man and deserves the fiddy

Denomination: 100 Dollar
Current: Benjamin Franklin
Proposed: I could never figure out why this guy was on the hundred. Anyway, he goes to make way for Bill Clinton. he's my favorite.

who decided grape soda tastes like grapes? its not even close.

anyone been following the democratic nominee mess? me either. but check this out: Al Gore just snubbed ex-running mate joe leiberman by endorsing Howard Dean. Lieberman is jewish. these are facts. after doing not one second of research, it has come to my attention that major players in the palestine/israel nightmare donated millions and millions of dollars to the Dean campaign. after making that up, i decided that by simple logic, al gore must be a palestinian sleeper agent who has infiltrated our countries executive branch in order to sabatoge any kind of peace agreement that doesnt favor the palestinians. just think about it ... after 8 years of deception with the clinton administration and his latest endorsement of the non-jew, it should be clear that al gore was and is the puppet master pulling all the strings in the united states government for the past 10 years.

good drunk chat with my roomates and the kid on the couch (st. louis).

i was watching the rudolf christmas special just now. at the beginning, all the reindeer were playing games, till rudolfs disguise is blown and everyone sees his red nose. i would just like to say that the reindeer 'coach' is a fucking dick. upon seeing rudolf's uniqueness he said:
"were not going to let you play anymore reindeer games, right guys?"
fuck that reindeer.

as you may have read in my away message today, santa was supposed to be on campus (for details). when me kinlin and hamel ventured out to meet with the jolly fatman he was nowhere to be seen. what a fucking letdown. basically ruined my day. we brought cameras and everything. ironically, santa's appearance was supposed to be sponsered by HAMMERED, a drug/alcohol free group, so to spite them instead of seeing santa we drank and did drugs all day long. take that ya fat bastard. trying to bribe me into being a good boy just for some crappy K-Mart toys. go to hell.

after work saturday night, i drank for the first time in weeks. here are a couple quotes that i remember. i really have to remember a larger portion of the moronic conversations we have so you all may join in laughing at our stupidity.

"i want you to be underwater .... drowning".
- me to st. louis

"st. louis, how many limbs do you need to be happy? cause ill leave you with one less than that number"
- kinlin

i sit here at my computer putting off my homework in hopes that school will be cancelled tomorrow. i dont think it will happen despite the fact that all of boston has been absolutely crippled by a widdle bit of snow. regardless, here i sit, clicking the refresh button hoping to see a change in the northeastern webpage alerting me of the cancellation.

i was thinking earlier today, "why dont i have anything to write about anymore?". after pontificating on the matter for approximately 3 minutes i decided it was because i have not been drinking barely at all lately. that was a depressing thought: there is no excitement in my life without alcohol. but then i came to another conclusion. since the beginning of mattio's lounge, it has been a forum for my bitching about stuff. by this reasoning, if i have nothing to write about, its because i havent been drinking and i dont have anything to bitch about. this was a much nicer thought, but it made me instantly realize that i should have been complaining about my job all along. so here goes ...

as many know, i have been working weekends as a valet. during the best of times, this means that i drive nice cars, and make large tips. during the worst of times, there are no cars, and i make shit. this weekend was by far the worst it has been. in order for me to feel ive completely described my horrible ordeal, i will require some background information. for those who have never valet'd their car, or did and somehow still dont know how it works, here it is. you drive your car up, we give you a ticket, we park your car in our lot, you give the ticket to your waiter 15 minutes before you want your car, they tell us, we get your car, you come out drive your car away and give us a shitty tip. now on a typical saturday night, we'll have 5 people working and park between 30 and 40 cars. since one person has to stay there all the time, the 4 others have to run to and from the lot meaning they each park 6-10 cars.
so, when we park a car we drive to the lot and we have to run back. when we get a car we run to the lot and drive back. pretty simple. however, our lot is just under half a mile away, so each night we have to run about 3 miles.
now to the important part, this weekend. on friday we parked very few cars, and i made 22 dollars in tips. subtracting the 2 dollars i paid to get there and back and adding in the 6 dollars an hour i make i pulled in $60.50 which wasnt worth it because i was frozen to the bone all night. yesterday, i showed up and immediately had to park a car. however, the streets were stupid and the lot wasnt plowed. i got the car very stuck in the lot and had to dig it out with my hands every 5 feet i drove so i could get out of the lot again. i was dripping wet, very pissed off and very cold by the time i returned to the front of the restaraunt. i was then told i could go home. so i left. making 9 dollars in wages and 0 dollars in tips, subtracting the 2 for travel left me with 7 dollars net. weekend total: $67.50.
i worked again tonight and had to shovel the heaviest snow ever from in front of the restaraunt. no cars came, and i was let go at 7:30. i went into the store to buy a water and the old guy that owns the restaraunt paid for my water in gratitude, then offered to pay me 5 dollars to shovel another path out. let me assure you, spending half an hour shoveling heavy snow for 5 dollars was not what i had in mind, but i would have felt like a dick since he just paid for my water. with the 5 bucks he gave me, plus 18 in wages, minus 2 for travel i netted 21 dollars. that gives me a 3 day total of $88.50. not too bad right? wrong. based on the 10.75 total hours worked, i made a whopping $8.23/hr. even this doesnt seem too bad until you think about the absolute hell it was standing outside for a mere 15 minutes, let alone hours.

ok, thats enough of that. if you even made it through that im impressed, nevermind followed any of my calculations. the two guys that i work for, probably the cheapest humans alive, tried to push out a valet'd car out of our lot with their land rover and smashed the shit out of the back of it. out of kindness, they filled in the dent with lots of snow so the driver wouldnt notice until later, when "anybody could have done that".

p.s. dont ever valet your car.

i have decided, upon consulting with my top advisors, that david hasselhoff will stay. the details of his contract extension revolve mainly around me forgetting how i put it there in the first place.

i know what you are all thinking. "you waited two weeks to write an entry and thats it?" yup, thats right.