my professor for, get this, "Transport Processes and Separation Process Principles", has a very disconcerting habit. very often he pauses in his lecture and shakes the piece of chalk that is in his hand, you can more easily imagine it as being dice and he is preparing to make a killer yahtzee roll. anyway, this "shaking" motion looks suspiciously like the motion commonly attributed to masturbation. you know the one i mean, the "air jerk off" as it were. anyway, Professor Bac (read: Botch), will finish speaking about a topic that is fairly important then do the move. for example:
"That is why the viscosity of Ethanol is much greater than that of Methanol and this relationship can be easily discerned by analyzing their Reynolds numbers and Antoines constants" then, the air jerk off. how can i be expected to take any information seriously if it is always followed by a gesture ive always attributed to apathy and worthlessness. i cant. thats for damn sure. im probably the only cool kid who noticed that he does it too. unobservant bastards.

Horse Shit (hôrs shit) n. :
1. Northeastern University's financial aid policies
2. Excrement of such large proportions that it obviously came from a horse
3. The excuses given to me by my financial aid advisor about why im getting $1300 less then i applied for even though i am required to pay interest on that same $1300 starting today
4. The excuses given to me by my financial aid advisor regarding the 2 week late arrival of my $5500 $4200 check

i have once again managed to top 400 dollars this quarter on book purchases. mother fucker.

every so often, there is a person that despite every effort, is not allowed to succeed. Stephen Dushko, this is your story. stevio, as we called him, was a brilliant young mind. here are a few majors that he tried out his freshman year: Performing Arts, Biology, Psychology, English, Journalism, Writing, and Scuba Diving. yes, thats correct, for a short time stevio attempted to become a scuba diving major. this is where our story takes a scary turn ... a deadly combination of both the northeastern administration and his parents teamed up to ruin poor stevios college career. despite stevios regular pleas, the numeric representation of apparent effort (GPA), was too great a hurdle for young stevio. if only mr dushko knew how many sleepless nights stevio spent under his bed simultaneously playing Tetris and masturbating, or dominating such video games as Half Life, and Mario Brothers. several nights stephen was so exhausted from staying up playing video games he couldnt even wake up to go to class. it was oh so tragic when i received the horrible news that stevio would not be returning to make a second go of it. all who met you, and/or had you threaten to kill them, will remember you for a relatively long time.

todays best away message comes from a fellow chemical engineer by the name of john belcher:

Belch Dog: Professor Zimmerman chuckled as she suddenly realized her mistake. "Oops! I forgot to draw this process output out of the system!" she said chuckling. We saw the mistake too and all laughed. It was funny because she was right. That ethanol and water mixture was drawn so that it wasn't leaving the system! You can't solve the system if your outputs never leave! So we all laughed at the mistake because it was very funny.

About the time I finished laughing, I realized that perhaps I needed to switch major, find a woman, and move to a small third world country where there is no math.

believe it or not, this would actually crack our whole class up for several minutes. we are super nerds where all of the jokes are stupid and about chemicals and math. but we are so so cool.

September 11th .... the latest of several days that will live in american history infamy. 'nuff said.

i was wondering how often people check this site. if you check regularly, and are aware of my frequent lapses in entries followed by an overcompensation of entries, then this may apply to you. let me give you a little story. say suzie checks my site everyday and i dont write for one week. then she checks again, and to her surprise there are several entries dated on days she checked the site. this is not only because she is a sucker. i have the ability to change the date and time of my entries to give the appearance that i write regularly. this is not always/ever the case. so given the power of god to play with time, i could be writing this on any day any week. the entry says thursday ... hahaha, its actually wednesday. also, the entries on the 8th and 9th were also written today, wednesday the 10th. at any rate, thats about enough of the boring stuff, i just had to get that off my chest.

as many of you know, i have been planning on naming my first born child (male or female) Shredder. because the mother will likely not approve, i am prepared to make Shredder be the middle name of the child. but i was thinking the other day in my apartment that a good name would be "Moonpie". it would work as a first, middle or last name. let me know what you think.

ps. if you would be willing to mother this child please meet me in public alley #807 by the dumpster at noon on any day. ill be waiting.

so i, like so many, have returned for additional schooling at the fine institution of northeastern university. but before i get to that, let me recount some events of the past 9 days or so. umm, i went to st. anselms and got shit-canned with mr brendan laprell and co. which is always a good time. i went to the dave concert last night which aside from the 3 mile walk before and after was very excellent. thats about it. back to school, both literally and figuratively, i have just completed the first 2 classes and if they are any indication to the way the semester will go i will be a very unhappy boy for awhile. my final english class of all time will surely be a gigantic pain in my asshole. that being said i would totally do my english teacher, ms. ruben. i have been desperately searching the internet for a picture of her but it appears graduate students do not get such luxuries afforded by our great institution. as a side note of slight humor (to myself more than anyone else probably), all three of my college english teachers have been grad students and have all had the same office. its a really small sucky office too, easily smaller than my bedroom (or for those not acquainted with my room, smaller than the senior room or an elevator) for 3-4 english grad students. what a bunch of suckers. cant wait for conference time with ms. ruben.
you should see the joker that is in my physical chemistry class. hahaha, oh man. yesterday i saw this kid in the bookstore buying the same book that i need so we got to discussing the course and what not and he invited me to be in an engineering club of some sorts that builds robots to battle each other. i dont know. plus he has a dark mustache and a albino like complexion. i cant wait to make fun of that clown behind his back. hahahaha.

ive been listening to a lot of neil diamond lately. suprisingly good. does anyone from home remember mr. posner? i was thinking about the talent show when i was in 6th grade and morgon tulercash and jeff rousseau made fun of posner by lip syncing his favorite song ... Forever in Blue Jeans. i think that is what it was. or atleast that is the way i remember it. anyway, i was thinking about that the other day and the point is that i downloaded it and i like that song a lot. plus the redsox will win the world series on the shoulders of david ortiz and bill mueller. other players that will contribute: Lou Merloni and Billy Hasselman.

Byung Yung Kim blows harder than hansen. GET THIS MAN OUT OF THE MAJOR LEAGUES, MMMM BOP!

"i want some puntang pie"
-kinlin

on the PACKED bus back to boston i met a crazy character, we'll call him rupert. rupert, upon seeing me standing there waiting for the bus engaged in a conversation that quickly turned to drugs. thinking he was some sort of shady coke head i attempted to escape. no luck. then it turned out that we knew some of the same people and the conversation continued. i was instructed on the proper manufacturing technique and protocol of both crystal meth and crank. on the bus we sat in adjacent seats at which point we shot shit for quite some time before i bored and wandered off towards sleep. what this story fails to convey, is the total sketchyness that this guy was. rupert was weird. i was genuinely afraid for my life. anyway, there was a beautiful baby sitting a few seats up. clearly a freshman on her way to college (BU according to her sweatshirt) she has no idea how badly i wanted to be sitting with her and not rupert. rupert also wanted to sit with her. i have a suspicion that rupert kidnaps people. or something. he cant be anything but a crook. which reminds me, im fricken hungry.

back in boston. hung out with my sister last night. then we went to st. anselms lovely university in goffstown new hampshire. after basically smoking and drinking for a good portion of the day the chaos continued with madness galore. first cards and smoking at the laprell palace. then stealing signs with st. louis. then walking down ninja paths. playing (losing) beirut many games in a row. smoking. at this point in our adventure i walked back up the mountain to laprells place and turned into a vomit machine. if you are confused by this stories haphazard style or the overall difference in structure and grammar patterns its because both yesterday and today ive been pretty out of it.

if you call someone a motherfucker, that is a bad thing, right? then why does kinlin keep telling me he has sexual relations with my mommy? what a moron.

so basically i just tasted the most disgusting thing i have ever, well, eh, tasted. i have steered clear of the majority of softdrinks latest publicity flavors, i.e. sprite remix, vanilla pepsi, etc., however today while searching for a refreshing drink in my refridgerator i stumbled upon some diet coke with lemon. sadly i took several sips of this horrific drink and could not continue. it tasted the way lemon scented pine sol smells. like a big sugary lemony piece of dog shit. not that ive drank dog shit ... i mean ... shut up. it was gross. so whatever you do, DO NOT DRINK DIET COKE WITH LEMON.

last night i was able to witness an amazing astronomical event. apparently, mars has crept up closer to earth than it has been in more than 60,000 years. evidently it wont be closer until the year 2287 (cnn). though remarkably unimpressive i was indeed able to see the orange tinted non-twinkling star. remind me in another 284 years so i can look to the sky and remember that i dont give a crap how close any of the planets are.

the Red Baron and i teamed up for a fantastic lunch today. what is it about his red scarf, handlebar mustache, and icy stare that allow him to fly in the finest frozen pizzas in the land?