lets see, since i last wrote:

- i went to michigan and bombed an interview
- i woke up in my yard after apparently passing out while returning with the mail. a squadron of wild turkeys were all around me. i swore off drinking for about a day
- i turned 24 years old
- i went to wisconsin for an interview
- i was offered oral sex from a gay man
- after having my flight delayed i was put up in a hotel and met chief crazy lightning face who i think was homeless
- at the same hotel bar i got outrageously drunk and fell asleep on the floor of my hotel room
- i got a flat tire that required 3 people, several hours, and 14 different tools to change
- my insurance expired as did my registration
- i registered my car, though i havent, nor do i plan to inspect it
- i got high speed internet
- i saw and hated x3: the final stand
- other movies ive seen: lucky # slevin, the aviator, national lampoons gold diggers, taxi, deer hunter, thank you for smoking, crank, pirates of the caribbean: dead mans chest, airplane!, a bright shining lie, the new world, grilled, poseidon
- i read 4 books
- i decided to buy a subaru forester (i havent actually bought it yet)
- i saw the dane cook hbo special
- i received the big book of bunny suicides. i laughed, and felt a little bad
- i vowed that next year is the year the red sox will win the division
- i lost 3 weeks in fantasy football

umm, probably some other stuff happened, perhaps even important stuff. i dunno

ok, so heres the setting. im walking through the manchester mall (it may have some other name) looking pretty much like a scumbag. dirty, smelly ass sandals, gross toenails, unshaven for several days, i probably reeked of BO. anyway, i was walking by myself through the mall to get some shit and i ran into a, ummm, latino thug.

ps. i guess i sorta bumped into and then spent many seconds staring at his lady friend

latino guy: hey, you lookin at somethin
me: i was looking at your sister. shes very pretty.
latino guy: thats my girlfriend
me: youre dating your sister? thats gross
latino guy: MURDER (MERDA)

i made that up.

"its like, if youre nice to them, they bring you things"

"just one little binger can brighten up your day"

ATLANTA -- Police are trying to figure out why a man burst into a home and stripped down.
Officers say the man walked into a home in Texarkana, Arkansas yesterday and told two women he was sent there to have sex with them.
When the man took off his clothes, the women called police.
The suspect then ran out of the house to a horse pasture and tried to climb on top of a horse to make a getaway.
Police arrested him before he could run away.

i have just received word of a Futurama movie. this pleases me.

i found this list on my coffee table:

shiza on your visor
poo on your doo
scat on your hat
turd on your bird
brown on your crown
slop on your top
crap on your cap
flop on your mop
smellin on your melon
bung on your tongue
flow on your fro
bowel on your scowel
rain on your brain
moca butt on your coconut
cream rocks on your dream box
ass splatter on your gray matter
blob on your nob
boodle on your noodle
dump sin on your pumpkin
stank on your think tank
stinker on your thinker
fig on your wig
missle on your bristle
liquid shit in your mouth
bloody dump up your nostrils

my favorite is the ass splatter one.

i remember his name now. ferrin (farin? ferin? farrin?) something like that. i assume thats a last name.

okay. so there is some news on the job front. however, too many pieces are in play to mention anything in a public forum such as this.

next, i just finished Closer. im not sure how i feel about this film.

this past weekend i went to a 4-wheeling party. thats right. lots of mud, a bbq and a fire. it doesnt get any better. i had some flyers for a coupla fairs around my neck of the woods because frankly, i could barely believe some of the "events" scheduled. for example, the cow flop drop. for those unfamiliar with this, a field is divided into grids and each one is sold, sorta like a raffle. wherever the cow shits, thats who wins. sweet right? it barely gets more rednecky than that. also scheduled are a minivan demolition derby, goat milk-off, a horse pull, tractor pull, and everything else you can imagine pull. i really wish i hadnt lost those flyers, cause there was shit i had never even heard of. awesome.

i hung out with some kids i hadnt seen since pretty much highschool this weekend. pretty unreal. i also went kayaking on grafton pond on sunday. friggin awesome. except im burned. but awesome still. umm, well thats mostly all of it though i had planned on writing it a little less all over the place.

oh yeah, ive been reading Tom Robbins lately. some interesting stuff. id describe it as a little like kurt vonnegut (admittedly ive only read one of his: Breakfast of Champions) but hes more of a perv and has a thing for redhead protagonists. good stuff. thanks to that crazy guy whose name i cant remember for suggesting them. i met him through the hamels: he knew a lot of dead baby jokes, and hung out with jay and matt dunn. thats all i can say.

okay, i guess im done for now.

i got some good shit to write about. not now though. im busy.

i am not a fan of the phone interview. i can see how some people would enjoy the distance so they could be, say, in their underpants while talking to a possible employer, but i REALLY dislike it. talking on the phone is not one of my favorite things to do. actually, i am quite uncomfortable and awkward doing it. the only thing i can think of is: "when can i stop talking into this thing?"

on a semi-related sidenote, the search continues for employment. a recent high note: i was turned down for several 3rd shift janitorial positions at a hospital. evidently im not good enough to clean up shit and buff floors. damn.

did anyone see that scumbag from france headbutt that guy? the whole match they were saying what a classy guy he was. F-that guy.

here is a list of major motion pictures that were created from comic books:
batman
superman
spiderman
x-men
incredible hulk
punisher
fantastic four
dare devil
spawn
catwoman
elektra
hell boy

here are some im not sure about:
sin city?
ultraviolet?
dick tracy?

here are some in progress:
wonderwoman
flash (there was a tv series i think)
thor
silver surfer (i think ...)

did i miss any? who cares.

here's todays edition of things i should know and could find out with a 2 minute internet search:

rear-view mirrors, how does that switch work to dull headlights at night? also, whats the deal with scotland and wales? are they countries?

best quote of the week: "i slept through armageddon yesterday".

quality NPR analysis of the week: "some experts say that this process will revolutionize the industry. critics say that it is a mistake" ... oh is that what the critics say?

here is my take on sex and the city: the story of 3 moderately goodlooking whores and their hot yet conservative friend. hilarious.

on a side note, i think i set my personal best for most punctuation per post.

if anyone read the post i left last night ... sorry. it has been removed.

this goes under the "i wish i thought of it" category:

BERLIN (Reuters) - World Cup pranksters in Berlin injured at least two soccer fans by inviting them to kick soccer balls that they had secretly filled with concrete, authorities said Tuesday.
At least six concrete filled soccer balls were found chained to lampposts, trees and handrails across the city next to the spray-painted message "Can you kick it?," Berlin police said.

"Two young men kicked the balls and suffered bad bruising on their feet," a police spokeswoman said. "We still don't have any leads in the case."

this is also pretty good.

i think i put a link for this up awhile ago. but here it is again. it is awesome:

JD8

also, i recently saw this. i find it funny:

Chokeback Yankees