lots of exciting things going on. the lowest temperatures in decades being recorded, a second week of co-op completed for many northeasterners (and classes for the rest), patriots playing in the AFC championship game, and probably some other real good stuff. anyway, i rarely have the time to write like i did on my last co-op, so often my good ideas, criticism, and sarcastic remarks remain unshared. not too much i can do about this though, my memory is definitely getting worse, and motivation to find a solution is virtually nonexistent.

i have recently returned to the gym after my nice long break. needless to say, i overworked each and every muscle group so routine activities like sitting up in bed, taking off my jacket, and crushing peoples skulls with my fists are now near impossible. luckily, i should be good as new for this weekend (which begins in approximately 15 minutes).

im going to the bar on saturday night i think should anyone desire to join me.

due to my imminent passing (probably, ok, well maybe), i have begun to compile a list of Don'ts to assist anyone wise enough to read this list and heed its warnings:

1. First, here is an important list
Now I will commence with the list of things of learned in my 21 years:
2. Do not fry bacon without a shirt on
3. Do not run naked through prickers
4. Avoid breaking objects over your forehead
5. Don't pour hot gel from those "new age" candles on your hand thinking it wont hurt like wax doesnt
6. Do not dump acetone on your coffee table cause it will take the stain off of it and youll have to put up with countless questions
7. Don't consistently beat up your little brother, especially when he grows to be several inches taller than you
8. Runing with scissors is ok unless you are running and trying to cut something at the same time
9. Do not allow someone to shoot a blowdart at you ... it hurts more than you think
10. Prevent all police altercations at parties by dressing properly ... a warm jacket in winter, running shoes at all times,etc and learn the easiest escape routes
11. Do not be ashamed of begging your teachers for both sex and better grades
12. Don't tell a girl you like her unless you a.) know what she thinks, b.) have another girl to go after if it doesnt work out with this one
13. Don't swim within a half hour after eating, you might get a nasty cramp that can be sort of a mild annoyance.
14. Any diet (atkins) that replaces all worldly staples that have sustained the human race for 5000 years, i.e. potatoes, bread, rice, etc. with bacon, is a stupid and bad idea. it just doesnt make sense folks. plus i love bacon

HOLY SHIT. ON A SIDE NOTE NO WHERE NEAR THIS LIST. I just read 2 consecutive entries from tuesday 19, 2002 in which i said the same exact thing. im awful. also, how bout my last 4 posts ... lots of work went into those. ok, back to the list

15. Don't swear at your boss on your first day
16. Don't tell your boss he is within 5 years of dying
17. Don't make fun of coworkers wives and children
18. Elaborate schemes to avoid doing work are often more work than the original work

i had planned on a larger list, but ... i guess i havent accumulated the wisdom needed for more than 18 items.

my day was ruined approximately 30 seconds ago when someone mentioned that i look like clay aiken. fuck that guy.

yeah, i have sort of been busy at work.

im at work now. started on monday. man i am going to delete this later cause it is boring me as i write it.

way to go hanover pa, way to go

If anyone can give a home to this cat please let me know. just look at how adorable it is.

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had
some items in front of him. When the class began,
silently he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and
proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in
diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was
full? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas
between the rocks. He then asked the students again if
the jar was full. They again agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it
into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything
else.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize
that this is your life.

The rocks are the important things - your family, your
partner, your health, your children - things that if
everything else was lost and only they remained, your
life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your
job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff." "If you
put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for
the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your
life. If you spend all your time and energy on the
small stuff, you will never have room for the things
that are important to you. Pay attention to the things
that are critical to your happiness. Play with your
children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your
partner out dancing. There will always be time to go
to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix
the disposal."

"Take care of the rocks first - the things that really
matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

But then... A student then took the jar which the
other students and the professor agreed was full, and
proceeded to pour in a bottle of Corona. Of course the
beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making
the jar truly full.

The moral of this tale is:
- that no matter how full your life is, there is
always room for beer.

"if you smell good and keep your ass clean, somebody is bound to like you"
advice given to a coworker from his father

two very important affairs of state. first, as is my style, i try and leave myself the smallest amount of time possible to come up with a halloween costume, despite thinking up thousands of excellent choices throughout the year. so, to have a record, i will begin posting them when inspirado strikes. costume that inspired this revolutionary process: the question-mark suit guy with that crappy commercial about his crappy book.

second, as many are sick of hearing, kinlin and i plan to get dogs this coming june (when we move out of this apartment), and among a myriad of other pre-puppy preparations, choosing my widdle puppies name is at the top of the list. due to a lengthy history of impulsive decisions (look at my shoulders), i have compiled a list of possible names ... my roomates and st. louis already know which im leaning towards but it would be 'nice' to get the often pessimistic and condescending input of my readers.
THE LIST:
Bailey
Splinter
Jeff Allen
Milo
Col. Mustard
Otis
Malcolm
Number 2
Armani
Fisher
Headzo
Mr. Peterman
Lord Kelvin

who decided who got to be on money? i say, coins .... who cares. 1 dollar bill, lets stick with the 1st president. i thought lincoln deserved a little better than the 5 spot after getting stuck on the worthless/filthy penny. however, he does his face out there more. does ben franklin deserve to be on the 100$. i dont think so. what about jackson and grant? what have they done? i dont know. and i bet a lot of other people dont know either. why not a president that we are brought up in school to think is great ... roosevelt, kennedy, etc. someone who made great strides for our country, or made a nobel peace prize effort in the middle east, i dunno. atleast something. here is my plan for restructuring who is on our currency:

Denomination: Penny
Current: Abraham Lincoln
Proposed: why not keep it simple, lowest coin and lowest dollar .... George Washington

Denomination: Nickel
Current: Thomas Jefferson
Proposed: Jefferson was the man, much better than John Adams, he keeps the nickel

Denomination: Dime
Current: Franklin D. Roosevelt
Proposed: Dimes suck, sorry FDR, but i do think you should keep this one

Denomination: Quarter
Current: George Washington
Proposed: I think Lincoln would be a better fit

Denomination: Half-Dollar
Current: I dont know
Proposed: who cares, i cant remember the last time i saw one of these

Denomination: Dollar Coin
Current: Sacagewea
Proposed: to keep it interesting i think this should rotate. 4 years after a presidents final term he gets as many years on the dollar coin as he was in office. for the record i fucking hate dollar coins.

Denomination: Dollar
Current: George Washington
Proposed: Nice choice whoever, he stays.

Denomination: 2 Dollar
Current: Thomas Jefferson
Proposed: John F. Kennedy, plus they should start printing them again

Denomination: 5 Dollar
Current: Abraham Lincoln
Proposed: Ben Franklin, that oughtta take him down a peg or two

Denomination: 10 Dollar
Current: Alexander Hamilton
Proposed: John Adams

Denomination: 20 Dollar
Current: Andrew Jackson
Proposed: Thomas Jefferson

Denomination: 50 Dollar
Current: Ulysses S. Grant
Proposed: Abraham Lincoln, this guy was the man and deserves the fiddy

Denomination: 100 Dollar
Current: Benjamin Franklin
Proposed: I could never figure out why this guy was on the hundred. Anyway, he goes to make way for Bill Clinton. he's my favorite.

who decided grape soda tastes like grapes? its not even close.

anyone been following the democratic nominee mess? me either. but check this out: Al Gore just snubbed ex-running mate joe leiberman by endorsing Howard Dean. Lieberman is jewish. these are facts. after doing not one second of research, it has come to my attention that major players in the palestine/israel nightmare donated millions and millions of dollars to the Dean campaign. after making that up, i decided that by simple logic, al gore must be a palestinian sleeper agent who has infiltrated our countries executive branch in order to sabatoge any kind of peace agreement that doesnt favor the palestinians. just think about it ... after 8 years of deception with the clinton administration and his latest endorsement of the non-jew, it should be clear that al gore was and is the puppet master pulling all the strings in the united states government for the past 10 years.

good drunk chat with my roomates and the kid on the couch (st. louis).

i was watching the rudolf christmas special just now. at the beginning, all the reindeer were playing games, till rudolfs disguise is blown and everyone sees his red nose. i would just like to say that the reindeer 'coach' is a fucking dick. upon seeing rudolf's uniqueness he said:
"were not going to let you play anymore reindeer games, right guys?"
fuck that reindeer.

as you may have read in my away message today, santa was supposed to be on campus (for details). when me kinlin and hamel ventured out to meet with the jolly fatman he was nowhere to be seen. what a fucking letdown. basically ruined my day. we brought cameras and everything. ironically, santa's appearance was supposed to be sponsered by HAMMERED, a drug/alcohol free group, so to spite them instead of seeing santa we drank and did drugs all day long. take that ya fat bastard. trying to bribe me into being a good boy just for some crappy K-Mart toys. go to hell.

after work saturday night, i drank for the first time in weeks. here are a couple quotes that i remember. i really have to remember a larger portion of the moronic conversations we have so you all may join in laughing at our stupidity.

"i want you to be underwater .... drowning".
- me to st. louis

"st. louis, how many limbs do you need to be happy? cause ill leave you with one less than that number"
- kinlin