HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE OLSEN TWINS,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

i got to hear an interesting theory on life today. it was told to me be a coworker today when my boss and team took us (the coops) out to lunch. evidently, when a family member passed away at age 78 he began checking the average age of the papers obituaries. coming up with 78 everytime he developed the "stealing life" theory. when someone dies at age 60, that means the remaining 18 years of his or her life gets doled out to others like the assholes who live to be 100. so basically, his theory was, that if he killed enough people who were in their 20's he could steal their life and live longer based on the law of averages. for several minutes we sat stunned, trying to soak in the madness of this theory at which point he began explaining further. neil was quick to cut him off saying, "no, we get it man, its just the most asanine thing ive ever heard in my life". im going to miss co-op.

i just realized that tomorrow is going to be friday the 13th. usually i hear bunches of people talking about how all sorts of bad things aregoing to happen but this time i heard nothing of the sort. i never really believed in that foolish superstition anyway. dont walk under a ladder, dont see black cats, dont break mirrors, friggen friday the 13th has too many rules. its been 2000 years since jesus was killed. nobody cares anymore. cool it with the friday the 13th junk.

as my final day of work approaches, i find myself coasting to the end. i spend a whole day doing what is possible to do in an hour. basically the combination of my declining level of care and a genuine lack of things to do, have made it impossible to get any work done. good 'ol shipley had a nice bbq today though which i took advantage of eating absurd amounts of food. thanks guys, you are always ready to reward me when im farthest from earning my wages.

we finally got cable in our apartment so one of us has internet. evidentally we need some sort of costly splitter hub or something in order to let us all have it so kinlin is currently the only one online. too bad he is a loser. plus he is terrible at NHL '96. i am currently on a 1000 game winning streak against him.

i will be returning to the fair state of new hampshire this weekend to drop off some crap i dont need and attempt to convince somebody to bring my dresser to boston. after work tomorrow i will be going to have a few drinks with my boss and coworkers so it is unlikely i will make the 530 bus i had wanted to get on. instead, i will be forced to take the 9 oclock one arriving in Hanover at midnight. carrying all of my shit on the T and the bus while im drunk is gonna be the sweetest.

as i sit here at work, knowing that few other students are doing the same, i cant help but wish that i were not here. but that being said, i am dreading returning to class on tuesday. im not sure anyone realizes just how bad classes really are for me. not only will i be sweating all summer long and not being able to hang out due to excessive homework, but i wont be receiving my weekly paycheck either. i have been defending the co-op program against my roomates for the last few months. their claims, that it is worse than class, and no experience is gained is something i cannot comprehend. true, it sucks getting up at 630 for work everyday, but i have to get up at 730 for my 8 ams anyway. but clearly the biggest difference is that i am trading 500 dollars a week for easily 20 (probably closer to 30) hours of reading, homework, and projects. what is my consolation for all of this? no class on fridays. but really all that means is that my classes are jammed into the other four days making my schedule absolutely awful. here it is so you can all feel better about your own:
Monday:
8:00 - 9:05 AM ... Elementary Spanish II
9:15 - 10:20 AM ... Chemical Engineering Calculations II
10:30 - 11:35 AM ... Organic Chemistry II
1:00 - 2:05 PM ... Differential Equations for Engineers

Tuesday:
2:15 - 5:15 PM ... Organic Chemistry II Lab

Wednesday:
8:00 - 9:05 AM ... Elementary Spanish II
9:15 - 10:20 AM ... Chemical Engineering Calculations II
10:30 - 11:35 AM ... Organic Chemistry II
2:15 - 3:20 PM ... Differential Equations for Engineers

Thursday:
8:00 - 9:05 AM ... Elementary Spanish II
9:15 - 10:20 AM ... Chemical Engineering Calculations II
10:30 - 11:35 AM ... Organic Chemistry II
1:00 - 2:05 PM ... Differential Equations for Engineers
2:15 - 5:15 PM ... Organic Chemistry II Lab

thursdays are going to be the best. SEVEN HOURS AND TWENTY MINUTES OF CLASS. all this so i can have fridays off? no thank you.

i got nothing.

at lunch today, i differed from my usual meal (2 pieces pepperoni pizza, 1 m&m cookie, 1 dr. pepper) and went with a grilled ham and cheese with fries. also, there were no more regular dr. pepper's so i had to get a diet which brings me to the point of this entry. while devouring my food and guzzling soda a coworker informed me that i shouldnt drink diet sodas. they contain the alleged disease causing sweetener known as aspartame he said. to which i replied "you gotta die of something". now, i have done many foolish things in my lifetime many of which have directly put my life in danger, and i can assure you i will not die from drinking diet soda but more likely from one of these other activities. the very fact that this comment was made at a chemical plant where we inhale fairly large doses of harmful chemicals on a daily basis totally destroys any credibility i would have normally given this warning. as a matter of fact, this afternoon, as my next death defying stunt, i will drink not one, but TWO bottles of diet dr. pepper. i doubt the great evil knievil ever did that. my love and need for living on the edge is unparalelled among any man alive.

its official. FuncoLand is offering old Sega Dreamcasts for 50 dollars a piece. how much are they asking for an original nintendo? why 60 dollars of course. thats right, it is more expensive for an old nintendo then a dreamcast. just one more punch in the face to sega and the creators of dreamcast.

people need to cool it with song lyrics in their profile, and dave matthews band quotes in particular. there is little i hate more than checking peoples away messages at work to find that every single person i know has that shit all over their profiles. stevio, is the only exception, he usually/always has lyrics/poems that are worth reading. the quotes are generally all from obscure bands and songs or of his own creation. heres a nice gem from his current away message:

You are of the Earth
I am of the Sky
I don't even know
What the hell that means

basically stevio is out of his mind. but for the rest of you, piss off with your quotes.

Project Beard Update:
Status: terminated

Project Beard:
i fear the worst for my "beard". my appearance becomes closer to that of a scumbag everyday. i think many will not be able to see any separation between the two. as though in competition, one side of my face insists on growing hair faster, and in places, that the other cannot. this is not promising. in conjunction with my unkempt hairdstyle, i have received nothing but negative feedback. my experiment may be short lived in part to this. plus i hate this ridiculous chico stash. it is really beginning to bother me.

due to a combination of my increased slothfulness and my growing hatred of shaving, i have decided to test the capabilities of my facial hair. i am currently in the drunken hobo/mexican stage and it is hard to tell exactly how completely awful my beard will be. regardless of the extra hatred that will be showered down upon me throughout this experiment, i am determined and committed to the full evaluation of my facial hair growth potential. updates on Project Beard will be given out periodically.

i was called away from my duties at work early yesterday. initially i was upset (sort of), then i realized what was going on. there were an occupational and physical therapist walking through the labs showing people how to stretch out before work, lift properly, and basically minimize workplace injuries. the point of all of this is i may have added another girl to the list of immediate marriables. the physical therapist, kim, dazzled me with her beauty and her flawless lifting techniques. she was quite short (the cute short, not the scary dwarf short), had dirty blonde hair, and nice hooters eyes. plus i bet she gives killer massages.

CrashN2me71: so we dont have to kill anyone
Whitetrashkateer: yes, no killing necessary
Whitetrashkateer: i would still like to kill someone though
CrashN2me71: it would definately be fun
CrashN2me71: maybe someone stupid like shawn or something
CrashN2me71: we can just get rid of him
Whitetrashkateer: dump him in a dumpster
Whitetrashkateer: or the charles
CrashN2me71: we'll dump him in a dumpster
CrashN2me71: then jeff in the charles
Whitetrashkateer: deal
CrashN2me71: haha
Whitetrashkateer: can we roll him up in a rug
Whitetrashkateer: ive always wanted to do that
CrashN2me71: hahaha, im up for that

when asked today why i got into science by a coworker, i was pretty much stumped. sure i gave my robotic answer, "im good at math and science", but then i actually began to think about it. im fairly good at history, literature, and several other subjects (basically i am a genius). then the same coworker mentioned something that BLEW MY MIND. he said, "i got into science because one year i got better grades in science the my other classes". while at the time this makes all the sense in the world, when you think about what we know about the flaws of tests its really no wonder that most people hate their jobs. there is a good chance people erroneously choose careers based upon their schooling, then realize that the workplace is far from sitting down and writing essays, or doing math problems. but actually, i sort of like my job so i am disproving what i just wrote. what a waste of my precious time.