With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

halloween is one of the more visible measures of girls lack of creativity. and god bless them for it. while males struggle all year to come up with a recognizable and unique costume, girls stick with the old standby: slut it up. dressing trashy is NOT a costume. however, i think it is a more than acceptable arrangement. we males hereby agree to be clever and creative in coming up with our costumes and in return we get our fill of slutty pirates, slutty angels and devils, playboy bunnies, school girls, slutty fairies, french maids, and all that near nakedness.

again for clarity, girls simply add a bit of flesh to their wardrobes for a costume. this is not unique or new. but ... who cares? nobody. bring on the whorish cowgirls and scantily clad whatevers.

these made me laugh:

go to google, type in the word "failure", and click "im feeling lucky".
go to google, type in the words "french military victories", and click "im feeling lucky"

credit to woodsy on this one

im still working on that rome trip entry. i wrote it, but it was long, boring, and not funny. so im changing it. when in rome.

daily wisdom: the steam that pours from manhole covers smells like poo.

due to the reflectiness of our elevator, i have recently learned that i wear my hat offcenter. why did no one alert me of this? on a related note, hamel let me leave the apartment to visit a friend neglecting to mention the fact that 2 bottles of wine ago i had put a sticker on my face. someone mentioned it in the elevator.

synonym for flammable: inflammable. thats right.

im reminded this evening, of an incident from my youth. i had this paper written for highschool, and didnt want to type it up. so i bribed one of my sisters friends into typing it for me. the bribe: all the stems he could ever want to chew on, some good tunes, and a bowl pack sometime in the future. i dont know what made me think of that. but the friend did make an appearance in High Times wearing our highschool tshirt. nice.

i just got back from rome. amusing anecdotes and "Things Matt Learned in Italy", coming soon.

i wasnt quite done with my butt, so i loitered (sp?) outside the local liquor store:

some old mexican guy: those thing will kill you
me: i bet i outlive you
old mexican guy: [cough, cough] I'll kill you.

ill see you in hell old mexican guy.

i just saw the "techno-remix" preview for gladiator on tbs. it was appalling.

last night for trivia i named our team "plus, that kid got killed." after that kid who got killed. the reception from my team was not positive. i dont remember what they switched it to.

September 21, 2005, 8:43:24

Thats bizarre: A dairy fiend is swiping milk off people's doorsteps - and leaving notes saying he hopes they like their cereal dry.

Home-owners in Berkshire have been baffled by their resident milk thief, who signs his handwritten messages 'Yours Sincerely, Your Friendly Milk Thief'.

One victim of the unusual bandit said: "The note just said: 'Do you like dry cereal? Hope so because we've drunk your milk. Yours Sincerely, Your Neighbourhood Milk Thief'."

Dairy Crest, who supply the milk, are not charging customers for stolen pints and police are currently investigating but so far have no leads.

have you ever known that a particular slippery spot exists and staked it out for several hours to watch people fall?

my freshman year of college, i dropped a class. it was some bullshit intro class and i hated the teacher. having to make it up the next year (it has since been discontinued) my schedule was shifted and im taking my history elective now. it turns out, that i am 1 general elective short of graduation. no big deal since im graduating a whole semester early anyway. my academic advisor knows this. she also knows my plans of how to deal with it. weve met several times regarding this specific issue. i have been pestered in the last few days via email and phone calls to "resolve" the problem. i ignored them, knowing that there was really no problem. finally, yesterday in my bioengineering class i get a note from her saying the same shit. and she doesnt spell my name right. honestly, get your shit together lady.

as i have bitched about several times before, my schedule has been obscenely restricted. of my 3 (yes, 3) electives in 5 years, only one can be anything, and i need them all to graduate. what the fuck. they pitch college as a place where you can learn about anything that interests you. not for me. on the upside, ill likely be making more than you when i graduate.

i know no one cares about my studies and schedule issues, but i have nothing clever or witty to say. no amusing anecdotes to share. nothing.

happy birthday to hamel yesterday. i totally missed it. oops.

im back. sort of. ill really try and post things a little more often now that my summer schedule is over. classes this fall should be reasonably difficult as opposed to the stupidly difficult ones i just finished. the sox WILL win the division which seems to be not that common a viewpoint if you work for a sports network other than nesn. well fuck 'em. the pats are still somehow very, very good. im amazed and already at the point of just waiting for them to not fulfill the ever increasing expectations of the locals. homework time. YES.

ive recently discovered fark.com. this one made me laugh:

Teenager playing in the Little League World Series having the time of his life a year after he was diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome, a disorder which DAMMIT CRAPFACE ASSHEAD

i hiked a mountain the other day. katahdin. its a big one. i defeated it and then drank some vodka. this vacation is amazing. ill have to move soon though. that will be unpleasant. redsox. yes dude.