quote of the day:

"the pope dying was pretty much the best thing that ever happened to me"

if any of my coworkers or superiors knew just how little i care about the work im doing, there is no way in hell i would be given the responsibility i have now.

i want to shoot a turd rocket into eddie murphys face for writing (or atleast recording) that travesty: Party All the Time. the song sucks hard. real hard. comedians shouldnt sing. no matter how intensely they try, inevitably it ends up resembling a sack of soggy dicks. this does not apply to songs written for comedic value (Adam Sandler, etc.)

angela muzzey is a liar.

i think i slept on my baseball glove last night, cause i found it in my bed and my back really hurts ... as though i had slept on a baseball glove.

i watched animal face-off last night. basically they pit two beasts against each other in a virtual battle to see who would win. last night, Polar Bear vs. Walrus. the walrus won. i think it was bullshit though.

my lebanese manager cracks me up. his english isnt quite tip-top and i often have to think for a second about what he is talking about. for example:

he says: i dont think so he is here.
he means: hes not here.

he says: i dont think so we can do it.
he means: we cant do it.

and so on.

i have much to speak of, however, the thoughts are all still jumbled in my head so they will likely not be coherently and logically represented.

my sister got a new puppy, Ruger, a chocolate lab. hes adorable. and hell bite your ears off everytime he has the opportunity.

i saw my brothers this weekend. pretty funny.

at prom, i saw the most attractive girl i have EVER seen. hands down, no question, the best girl ever. shes already a model full time, and well out of my league. plus shes 16 or 17.

dooling, i owe you two cheeseburgers. the escalade has a bench seat in the front, and it isnt illegal to write on money. unless you intend to alter it in such a way as to make a profit.

mike and owen, you both owe me a cheeseburger. heres the proof: CHEESEBURGERS. by the way, the bet was that the Giants have been in the superbowl within the last 6 years. and they played just 4 years ago. bitches.

a movie title that inspires my rage from within: "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants". there is no way that this thing will be good.

i guess my crack at homeschooled kids was a bit harsh. i didnt realize you were homeschooled gordo. you are normal.

my brother mike told me about this russian chick, she has x-ray vision ... its crazy. i did some research into it and i guess she is the real deal. can look inside your body and see your organs, diagnose diseases, all kinds of shit. check it out

Timmy B has a blog now, wanted me to advertise: he said hed blow me if i did.

eventually ill put it up in my links thing, HTML is annoying though, and ima see if i can get another hummer out of it.

ive seen Anchorman twice in the past 3 days, and laughed uncontrollably both times throughout the feature. i had heard from a number of people that it was a poor movie. now i know that you are wrong.

"all the easy shit has already been invented, i need to go back in time and invent some of that crap. i mean, a Thermos? Index cards? please."
-Tristen Lucas

i have recently come to the realization that i hate a guy i work with. he is very protective of his things (none of it is actually his, but rather Rohm and Haas') so i have decided to start acting like a real prick to him. no more false courtesy and emtpy conversations about his weekend. now i wait till he leaves the lab, and i move his equipment all over the building. he will never be able to find what he needs. maybe ill put a tack on his chair or something too. i could always just dump some random chemicals into his experiments. plenty of ways to sabotage at a chemical company.

im only slightly curious about the new star wars because they beefed it up with a PG-13 rating instead of a PG. i guess theres a bunch of murdered kids and other forms of reckless violence.

i guess thats it for now.

lunch review:

restaraunt - Yong Tong (or something like that, its Thai)
soup - Tom Ka Kai ... the worst thing ever
entree - tender beef and rice ... pretty good

i just read bill simmons' running diary of the 2002 spelling bee and the following questions and answers came to my mind:

can anyone not homeschooled win a spelling bee: no

what is the total number of people ive ever met who were on the ESPN spelling bee: 1 (go Ms. Kathryn Spruill!!!)

will anyone who was homeschooled lead a normal life: no

is there a chance any word that is spelled will ever be used by anyone in any conversation, ever: no

whats wrong with those kids: i dont know

do i secretly wish i could spell really well: yes

does this post suck: sort of

am i absurdly bored of my tedious job: yes

im not sure too many people who read this site check out any of the links i have above, so for those who dont, let me steal from the futures of america. it made me laugh, and rather than try and come up with something on the same premise but funnier, ill just copy and paste from jeff rileys page:

I like watching people going through metal detectors at the airport. actually that's only true if I have plenty of time before my flight. otherwise it's very annoying. it really is amazing though. this device that everyone has to walk through is called a 'metal detector.' not a security checkpoint, or terrorist prevention machine, the name is pretty-straight forward. the metal detector detects metal. do you have any metal on you? because you shouldn't. this machine will detect it.
oh, my pocket full of change! my cell phone! cell phones have metal in them? I didn't realize that, my skull is full of honey! hooray! let me try again. oh, my big metal belt buckle appears to have upset your machine! what does this machine do again? is my metal watch a problem?

I have a simple idea that will help speed up lines at the airport. everytime a metal detector detects metal, the person who set it off will be electrocuted. see how quickly honeyskull learns? now we can get to the airport with a little more time to spare.

I have so many good ideas.

being a sarcastic and negative person, my compliments never sound genuine or sincere. especially when commenting on a girls hair or clothes or whatever, i always think that since ive never mentioned it before, im really just insulting them for every other day that i didnt compliment them. one compliment turns into countless insults on how ordinary theyve looked other days.

Jesus Christ in legal troubles.

i work with martin. he is from england. getting robbed in england is called, getting "burg'd". martin knows a lot of things. he will tell you, whether you care or not. shut up martin.

just kidding. martin is an ok guy.

it was a friday afternoon, and i had just gotten out of work. while getting onto the highway i was happy that my weekend was about to begin, it had been a reasonably pleasant day of work, and now it was time for drunken stupidity. then i got a call from louis. evidently, while we were at work, our house got robbed. here is a list of some of the things that got sniped from our apartment:

-Close to 200 DVD's
-DVD Player
-Dell MP3 Player (Not yet used)
-2 new Digital Cameras
-Portable CD Player
-Gold chain and ring
-Silver Chain
-roughly $70 in cash
-2 subway tokens (seriously)
-Nintendo Game Cube (working)
-Nintendo Game Cube (not-working)
-6 controllers for Game Cubes
-2 Game Cube Memory Cards
-roughly 20 Game Cube games
-Sega Genesis and controllers
-Bottle of cologne
-Pack of cigarettes (no lie)
-Laundary bag and Gym bag (To carry all of our fuckin stuff in)

Estimated total loss: $7,000-$10,000

on top of all this, our rooms (especially kinlins) were torn apart. drawers wide open, stuff strewn all about, closets wide open, basically, shit EVERYWHERE. the asshole actually tore my pillow cases off my pillows. happily, the single most expensive thing in our house was not taken (probably cause its just too big), though it will likely be relocated to a more secure location. once i reached drunkeness, i left many a 5 second phone message: "We got robbed". we are now a perfect 2 for 2 in the category of apartments i lived in that have been robbed. there is a slim glimmer of hope that we will catch the fucker who has our stuff, but it is unlikely. anyway, i was/am pretty depressed about it. my parents are as of yet, still unaware, for i could not reach either of them (not unusual). i think my dad is moving to michigan or something, and my mom was working one of her 3 jobs. if any of us had been home during the robbery, we would have no doubt been stabbed. i found a sharp kitchen blade on top of my computer, which had clearly been carried by the bandit.

so, it was a pretty shitty weekend. ill get into that more, later in the day. youd think that by this point in history, we would have been able to make artificial gills. assuming that they dont, this will be my new lifes work. breathing under water might be one of the coolest things ever.

Swell

its official, after a 4 year hiatus from such events, i will be attending the Sanborn Regional High School senior prom.