this ones for you jake. long live radioshack.

ive been working with the cyclic voltemetric stripping (CVS) machine for the last few days. there cant be a more frustrating piece of equipment to use. not only is it incredibly temperature sensitive but it is also exceedingly unpredictable and unreliable. Qualilab can take their CVS and shove it. first, our standard 2 mL/L gave a concentration of 0.687 mL/L and then running it again we got 4.231 mL/L. what the hell is going on.

gamecube only made a NCAA basketball game up until 2003. why?

i just started reading The Great Gatsby. no other book ive read has rendered the sort of feedback that this has:

Weren't you supposed to finish that in, like, 7th grade?
When is your book report due?
That book sucks donkey balls. Don't finish it.
I hated that book.
I had to read that in highschool, it was awful.
One of the worst books I've ever had to read.
I think that's my favorite book.

girls, if you have small boobs, something needs to be done about it. chew some gum. if for some reason you dont think big boobs are important, you are wrong. while boobs can definitely be TOO big, for the most part, girls should get bigger boobs. why you ask? because boobs are real good.

my ncaa tournament bracket is ruined. i got absolutely murdered in the second round games.

Easter Bunny Arrested for Harassment

i put in some hours this weekend working on my vaporizer(or?). its going to be sick. i could have easily made one in about 10 minutes, but this one is gonna be rolls royce.

beating tiger woods is proving to be a more trying endeavor than i realized.

im all kinds of hungover today at work. dang, this sucks.

has anybody seen the nike cinderella ad? it starts cinderalla running away at midnight then the suddently the prince is a bumbly multinational foreigner hobbling down the steps to find a silver sneaker. what is the meaning of this. the voiceover then comes in, "without sports, cinderella wouldnt have worn sneakers". i demand that everyone write many harrassing letters to the ad people at nike. perhaps burning an effigy is in order.

this guy looks like the british dude who works at the 'Master of Convenience' on tremont.

such eloquence. its timeless:

So fuck a chicken, lick a chicken, suck a chicken,
Beat a chicken, eat a chicken like it's a big cock
bawka-bi-kaw
Or suck a dick, and lick a dick and eat a dick
And stick a dick in your mouth
I'm done you can fuck off
fucka-fucka-fuck offf!

bad donkey

remember this? Justice is done

bad kitty

i have a new favorite baseball player of all time: Rusty Kuntz. evidently he played for the tigers and whitesox and now coaches third base for the pirates. if anyone knows how i can get a "kuntz" jersey, please let me know.

in order to best last season, the redsox need to do more than succeed at winning another championship. they need to win the division by an obscene margin and break the single-season wins record. not just by a couple of games either ... im talking atleast 135-140 wins. nothing else will be acceptable.

you all think youre so cool with your hat and/or jacket displaying to all the world which sports team you owe your allegiance. well i get it. that is why i am getting both a jacket and hat that have ALL of the team logos on it. without choosing a team, i am my own man. plus i look like a nascar driver with all these logos on my jacket. now im cool.

my mind is moving about half speed today. happily, because of my absurdly high level of intelligence, my brain still works much more quickly than the average NASA savant. i am however, having trouble in my attempts to stave off the intense desire to take a nap at my desk. feigning sickness would be of no use, as i have no ride out of the hell in which i currently reside. get me out of here.

oh peggy.