NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. this article is about the passing of one of the finest stripclubs in whiteriver junction, vermont. i spent many a one dollar bill at the ol' White River Amusement Pub (WRAP). then we usually drove drunk home. or to Hard Bodies. happy valentines day strippers.

nope. maybe tomorrow. the NHL sucks hog.

so as soon as i get to work i go into the lab to turn my tanks on. standard procedure. it turns out bernie already turned them on. sort of. he spent 10 minutes describing to me how he helped me out with this and now could i do an inorganics analysis for him, blah blah blah. normally i would have said ok, done it, and not thought anything of it ever again. however, its early, and i dont like people fucking with my tanks. especially since he didnt turn on the heaters (the tanks need to be kept at 75 F for good plating), put one of the dummy panels in backwards, and didnt turn one of the two rectifiers on. thanks a lot bernie. you just made my morning awful defucking what you did as well as doing your work.

after doing all of this, bernie came back from his meeting for another installment of "let me explain something at great length that you already know more about". i come back into the lab to see him fiddling with the rectifier controls. evidently, he wasnt satisfied that the ASF (amps per square foot) selected was adequate. after him babbling about something, i showed him the math, proving me correct, and had to restrain myself from telling him to never touch my tanks again, or atleast do something meaningful and correct.

there is only one person i know of who will read this understand it in its entirety. and i already told him about it. so, ben, what the fuck is with bernie anyway?

maybe ill write something later that other people care about.

not only must this taste like complete butthole, i bet it is really good for your stomach too. still, kudos to this stupid, stupid lady.

This guy got fined THIRTY-EIGHT dollars.

the facebook is now banned by the IT guys where i work.

poke the bunny

yes, its true. Hakeem Olajuwan is a terrorist?

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolonglife. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, andthat's it ... don't waste them on exercise. Everythingwears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will notmake you live longer; that's like saying you canextend the life of your car by driving it faster. Wantto live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits andvegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does acow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanismof delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass(green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetableproducts.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy isdistilled wine, that means they take the water out ofthe fruity bit so you get even more of the goodnessthat way. Beer is also made out of grain.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat,your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, yourratio is two to one, etc.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these daysin vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it.How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit ups help prevent me from getting a littlesoft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it getsbigger. You should only be doing sit ups if you wanta bigger stomach.

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: Absolutely not. Take a look at manatees.

im not sure how i feel about this guy. there is great potential for this one. i debated several jokes as to how big his balls were, or how much of a man he was for fulfilling his bargain. being able to come up with nothing sufficiently witty i will write nothing.

as a side note, so much time was spent watching the puppy bowl, that minutes of the superbowl were missed due to excessive puppy bowl watching. it was real good.

while all of you suckers were watching the paul mccartney (sp?) superbowl suck show i decided to peruse some other channels. our remote controller worked its way to the animal planet channel. there, to our surprise was the Puppy Bowl. easily the most entertaining show ive seen in a month, it was comprised of a 3 hour birdseye view of about 8 puppies running around a mock stadium playing with each other. if a puppy did something cool, the instant replay team was there to catch it and replay it. it was awesome. as i recall, the 3 hour puppy bowl was replayed after the first one ended, so it played from 6-9 and from 9-12. by the time you get around to reading this, i will have most likely already purchased this soon to be cult classic, The Puppy Bowl. you can have yours for 9.95 plus s/h by following the link below.
The Puppy Bowl DVD

this article exemplifies perfectly my latest post lamenting an over litigious society. i only wish i had the ambition to find one about that burglur who fell through a window, landed on a knife, sued and won money.

this story seems a little suspect. first of all, getting zapped with a grill igniter hurts about as much as a mosquito bite. secondly, the victim was "learning disabled". it turns out it doesnt take much to be learning disabled. if you are a slow reader: learning disabled. if you think better visually than orally: learning disabled. if you have ADD: learning disabled. i think the world, and the US in particular, needs to get off its highly litigious ass, and take it easy. remember when teachers could whack unruly students? how about any of a million other examples of people freaking out unneccasarily from "racist" comments. the people who grew up in this kind of society, where domestic violence was prevalent, school beatings common, and hazing was everywhere. they think they are making the world a better place. perhaps they even think that the world should be safer, and who is to blame for this? our angry generation of hooligans. im a fan of the 'if it aint broke, dont fix it' theory. and people are doing much too much fixing these days. and the world is turning into a shithole.

is it cause he's crazy?

worst thing ive read in months