whats the deal with yawning? i was in a car yesterday, yawned, and saw a lady in a car 2 lanes away yawning. perhaps yawning is some kind of super power ability to force others to do what you want. to determine if that is the case, i will be spending the remainder of the day honing my telepathic, and telekinetic abilities. plus i can jump real high.

kinlin and eric. because you do nothing at work all day long, and share my passion for the family guy: waste some time here

this saturday my pseudo hippy ex-boss is playing at copperfields. all non-homosexuals must attend.

ah yes, montreal. names (except for mine) will be changed/purposefully omitted to protect the "guilty". what a good time. i do believe that i saw atleast one of the hottest girls ive ever seen, probably about 4. absolutely flawless. its hard to put into text all of the nonsense that went on, i guess ill try though. after spending hundreds of dollars (me anyway) at the casino, we decided to go to a strip club saturday afternoon. what better than sitting down and seeing some tits. after watching a lil while i purchased a contact dance for my friend. seeing the grin on his face, i decided that i would get one for myself. very enlightening. as the previous entry plainly states, i know what fake tits feel like now. most of us enjoyed contact dances, and a couple of us (me and others) got the combo dance. i cant remember what it was really called, but two of us, could pick two girls, and .... you know. the two girls i was able to experience were absolutely amazing. plus they were sisters. and the younger one spoke like 2 words of english, so they would be talking in french virtually the whole time. breathtaking. i know youre probably saying to yourself, "yeah, sure they were sisters". but they were. you could tell. now stop contradicting me. the best quote afterward (paraphrased) ... "she said she liked my cologne, but i think she really liked me". no she did not. no she did not. but who cares.

i know what fake boobs feel like.

going to montreal tonight after work. hopefully, stories and pictures should be coming. im tired.

i made a pathetic attempt at selling my tv earlier this year. after posting my ad, i received only one response, from this guy:

Hi! I am very interested in your tv. If you still have it and want to get rid of it, you may consider to donate it. I would like to have one, but I cannot afford it right now. I could pickt it up today if you want. Please, if you don't agree with my suggestions, disregard this email. Have a blessed day!!!!!

yeah right jerk.

lots of things going on that are worthy of writing about ... most of them i have already forgotten but here is some stuff:

went home this weekend ... saw my brothers and a few friends (though not even close to the amount that i had planned) thank you to crystal and angela for honouring me with their presence for 14 minutes.

A-rod now plays for the yankees. this does not bother me at all. despite his impressive numbers, he is switching positions as well as stadiums which should affect his defensive and offensive performance respectively.

My weekly meetings at work have become 2 hour battles to tay awake. i cant see how anyone can remain alert under these conditions. meetings take place after lunch, in a very warm room full of comfortable chairs. i never make it.

neil and myself have decided to have a mustache contest ... whoever keeps theirs the longest wins. only true mustaches count because any other facial hair can only make you look less like a scumbag/porno star. i was the favorite "pre-bet" but we'll see ... incidentally, today is day 3 of the bet.

today i learned three different methods of beating ladies without marks being left: rubber hoses, phone books, and a bag full of oranges. on a personal note, baseball bats DEFINITELY will leave marks.

our second weekly poker game was last night. my total winnings are now -14 dollars. im getting better though ... actually, im not. but i will.

drinking alcohol. i used to find great joy in it, but in the last 2 months it seems to have lost its luster ... getting drunk seems like a burden and responsibility rather than a fun and reckless way to piss away my money. but when the weekend comes i feel like i owe it to myself to party, because i can, rather than because i want to. but once i actually AM drunk, i dont mind one single bit. unless of course i forced myself to drink and have a good time (the latter of which is very hard), in which case i would just be drunk and having a bad time.

I was able to donate blood yesterday for the first time in 4 tries. the previous 3 tries were stymied by being in the amazon, and getting 2 tatoos respectively. it makes a lot of sense to give blood ... not only does someone get my blood, i get to sit in a chair and not do work for an hour or so, i get free food, a free t-shirt, plus if my blood is infected with anything they let me know, so it works like a free west nile, aids, hepatitas test. gotta love it.

me, veronica, kinlin, st louis, and hamel were all hanging out, and we decided that some food would really hit the spot. since myself and hamel had planned ahead we began to devour our food, while kinlin and the saint ordered food from Elia's. when the food arrived kinlin eagerly tore into the packaging containing his tunafish sub, wanting nothing more than to treat himself to a tasty sandwich. when he opened up the sub, there was nothing except for lettuce in it. we all laughed and laughed that he had paid for a lettuce sub. we jeered and screamed as though our team had won the superbowl and we were about to cause some mayhem. so he calls Elia's up, demands they come look at his lettuce sandwich and give him a new one. after he hung up the phone, he continued to look bewilderdly at his lettuce sandwich and discovered something that he wish he hadnt. sure enough, it was a fine tuna fish paste that had been slathered (though in very low proportions) below the carpet of lettuce. kinlin then had to call BACK to Elia's and tell them what an asshole he was that he just couldnt find the tuna fish and there was no need to come and give him another sandwich. this call was followed by more spirited taunting and jeering. finally, he bit into his sandwich only to find that, "this tastes real lettucy". classic.

today i attended a semenar on "green chemistry", or chemistry that is environmentally friendly. it was very informative and boring. knowing that i was the only co-op (out of like 15) going, and that there would be many executives there, i decided to put on nice pants, shoes, and a collared shirt to seem like less of a dirty asshole. in a moment of pure selflessness, i also decided that i would fix my hair. my logic was that since i had had nothing but good experiences with co-op, especially here at Rohm and Haas (my company just switched names (formally Shipley Company)), i would give something back. knowing that all business executives are close minded and stupid, i couldnt give them the chance to see unkempt hair and give the axe to the co-op program ... a bit extreme perhaps, but i took no chances. after many minutes of wetting and patting, i left 175 well dressed and with a poorly done side part. little did i know what was in store for me when i arrived. i had no idea that i had set the bar so low for myself. unbelievably, all i need to do to gain the respect and admiration of my coworkers is to come into work with my hair not out of control for one day.

while emptying hazardous waste into the recepticle, i couldnt help but notice that brown colored vapors were coming out of the tank. i also noticed that i was breathing them and that my throat hurt. recalling similar days when my throat hurt i wonder how many times ive breathed the sweet sweet goodness of some random gas i generated by mixing random (sort of) chemicals in a waste bin.

i had my first bout with jury duty this week. im at work now however, which isnt quite as easy. i will write about this past week at a later time since it is clear i have been negligent since the 26th. to be fair (to me), performing civil duties can be quite time consuming and tiresome. bitch.

my 10 oclock meeting today was exceptionally enlightening. as discussions of high current density polarizers, carriers and brighteners were excitedly analyzed by my team, my own mind wandered aimlessly. the whole point of coop (at least i thought) was to bridge the gap between theoretical knowledge and practical knowledge (school and work). however, while staring blankly at the lists and terms on the dry erase board i decided that that gap is a large one indeed. i, in fact, had only enough of an idea to realize i would not able to grasp these concepts without additional explanation. in conclusion, coop makes me feel like a retard.