on the PACKED bus back to boston i met a crazy character, we'll call him rupert. rupert, upon seeing me standing there waiting for the bus engaged in a conversation that quickly turned to drugs. thinking he was some sort of shady coke head i attempted to escape. no luck. then it turned out that we knew some of the same people and the conversation continued. i was instructed on the proper manufacturing technique and protocol of both crystal meth and crank. on the bus we sat in adjacent seats at which point we shot shit for quite some time before i bored and wandered off towards sleep. what this story fails to convey, is the total sketchyness that this guy was. rupert was weird. i was genuinely afraid for my life. anyway, there was a beautiful baby sitting a few seats up. clearly a freshman on her way to college (BU according to her sweatshirt) she has no idea how badly i wanted to be sitting with her and not rupert. rupert also wanted to sit with her. i have a suspicion that rupert kidnaps people. or something. he cant be anything but a crook. which reminds me, im fricken hungry.

back in boston. hung out with my sister last night. then we went to st. anselms lovely university in goffstown new hampshire. after basically smoking and drinking for a good portion of the day the chaos continued with madness galore. first cards and smoking at the laprell palace. then stealing signs with st. louis. then walking down ninja paths. playing (losing) beirut many games in a row. smoking. at this point in our adventure i walked back up the mountain to laprells place and turned into a vomit machine. if you are confused by this stories haphazard style or the overall difference in structure and grammar patterns its because both yesterday and today ive been pretty out of it.

if you call someone a motherfucker, that is a bad thing, right? then why does kinlin keep telling me he has sexual relations with my mommy? what a moron.

so basically i just tasted the most disgusting thing i have ever, well, eh, tasted. i have steered clear of the majority of softdrinks latest publicity flavors, i.e. sprite remix, vanilla pepsi, etc., however today while searching for a refreshing drink in my refridgerator i stumbled upon some diet coke with lemon. sadly i took several sips of this horrific drink and could not continue. it tasted the way lemon scented pine sol smells. like a big sugary lemony piece of dog shit. not that ive drank dog shit ... i mean ... shut up. it was gross. so whatever you do, DO NOT DRINK DIET COKE WITH LEMON.

last night i was able to witness an amazing astronomical event. apparently, mars has crept up closer to earth than it has been in more than 60,000 years. evidently it wont be closer until the year 2287 (cnn). though remarkably unimpressive i was indeed able to see the orange tinted non-twinkling star. remind me in another 284 years so i can look to the sky and remember that i dont give a crap how close any of the planets are.

the Red Baron and i teamed up for a fantastic lunch today. what is it about his red scarf, handlebar mustache, and icy stare that allow him to fly in the finest frozen pizzas in the land?

ah yes, another vacation, which means another trip to the homeland. normally, i will bring my laundry back and entice my brother by way of a small amount of money to wash my filthy garments. however, as he grows up he now has more money than me and is not inclined to handle my unclean laundry for a few dollars. what a selfish jerk. that being said, i have to get back to doing laundry.

okay, so there was more drama of the stupid and violent kind last night. to make a long story short i saved the day by rescuing several kittens from certain death. we all had a good laugh afterwards. recently we have begun tailing kinlin and recording everything he does. because i realize that many people want to know "What is the deal with Kinlin?", and he doesnt write too often in his blog, i will be periodically giving updates on his actions:

What is the deal with Kinlin?

first we will have a few quotes from last evening
"You are both bitches"
"If there's 2 things we are, its stupid"
"Lube your dick up with nicotine and I'll smoke it"

next, some noteworthy actions:
1. punches out windows in our good friends house
2. dumps his supermodel girlfriend to "date all of our mothers"
3. wakes up surprised how much his hand and wrist hurt
4. is very confused why there is gauze wrapped around his hand
5. refuses to believe he mike tysoned an innocent window
6. he went from negative to positive, and its all good

you know when you get up early for many days in a row and find yourself inable to sleep in no matter how late you were up last night or how hungover you feel. plus no one is up so i have to sit by myself and watch sub par cartoons on television. this stinks.

last night i participated in a very interesting conversation about what we would spend money on if we were bill gates. aside from all the material goods, i came to the conclusion that you would have plenty of money to waste on things that make you happy. if you think about it, it is like buying good memories. for example, crazy mike shared with us that he would pay homeless people 2,000 dollars a piece to let him drive golf balls into them from approximately 10 yards away. i think that this would definitely give me a good chuckle. plus itll give the homeless plenty of money to drink their sorrows away. plus 2,000 dollars can buy a lot of cans of spray paint. homeless dudes LOVE spraypaint.

"If you kill someone, and throw them in the ocean, do you still get in trouble?"
- some stupid girl in my drivers education class 4 years ago

"Ive always wanted to learn how to squaredance"
- chris kinlin, yesterday

"Will it bite my nibblers?"
- joe dooling, talking about a caged rabbit positioned right next to the keg

i just finished looking at a ridiculous list of stupid things that our commander in chief has been quoted as saying. before you ask (i know you would have, you inquisitive young minds) there is a very good reason that i have not included a george bush quote. Basically this mans only job is to order the deaths of millions of iraqi's, lie to the UN, lie to the entire country, and lie to the rest of the world. because of all this lying two things inevitably happen. First, with so many lies to so many different people anyone would get confused and contradict themselves every time they spoke too. Second, no matter where our buffoonish leader goes, all his words are scrutinized to reveal his every flaw. i do not think that this is fair in the slightest. whenever you think to yourself, "boy, id rather have a piece of toast for a president than this coke snorting moron", just put yourself in his shoes. have someone follow you around all day with a tape recorder calling you a complete idiot every time you say something. then let me punch you in the face.

after finishing my spanish exam this mornin in under half an hour i decided it would be a good idea to get drunk. i was hammered by 11, and passed out by one. back in action now though, kinlin that dicklicker woke me up and forced a bunch of smoke down my mouth.

Best away message of the day goes to .... ME! good job me, im so clever:

i get test, i stare at test, i dont understand, i cry, i plot to kill teacher, i return to reality, i keep staring at test, i dont know any answers, i feel ashamed, i hand in blank test, i fail

im real real tired right now. there is nothing i want to do more than sleep. its a good thing that i have to study for an organic chemistry final. actually, wait a minutes, that isnt a good thing at all. it might be the worst thing right now. all i can do is wait for friday when i will reach sweet sweet vacation.

youd think after 20 years i would have urination mastered but IT happens every goddamn time: no matter how long i stand and shake at the damn urinal i can never get the last 2 drops out. that shit is real annoying.

i was promptly turned down today at the Staff and Faculty Ice Cream Social by a fat angry lady citing that i was neither staff nor faculty.