ill be drinking tonight for the man on the mountain. may he rest in piece. or in a big pile of rocks at the base of that mountain.

there might not be a sound that is more abrasive and unpleasant than the repetitive harsh beeping of my alarm clock. like usual it chimed in to tear me away from sweet sweet sleep this morning. the first and only thought after i shut that stupid alarm clock off, was, "why did i set my alarm on a saturday?" as i tried to slide back into my slumber reality (thankfully?), returned and i crawled out to begin the day tired and hungover. stupid stupid work.

in talking about people we hated the most, several names came up. though the conversation lasted a good half hour (maybe) the bottom line can summarized in a few sentences. two of three people on my hate list have been exonerated: tim and bolivia. this is due mainly to the fact that i have not seen either for awhile and cannot remember as clearly why i hate them. there is one who is awful all of the time. this person is known to frank the crook from the brook. if you ever see this man, run for your life. he is the worst.

i just got off the phone with my mom, and i said "hey mom, this is matt, im in love with this stripper yo". she said, "i can flex in 25 positions, have you any idea how hard this is?", at which point i terminated the conversation.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?

in february Tim Kurkjian of espn wrote an article about 5 baseball teams that had no chance of breaking .500 nevermind making the playoffs. one of these teams was the kansas city royals. here is what he had to say about the royals:
"Poor Allard Baird. Kansas City's general manager spent the offseason trying to cut payroll from $52 million to around $40 million. Pitchers Paul Byrd, Jeff Suppan and Roberto Hernandez were lost or let go, leaving no pitcher who won more than four games last year as a Royal, and no pitcher who saved more than four games as a Royal. The club tried to sign center fielder Carlos Beltran long term, but he rejected it. He could be traded before the July 31 trading deadline, if not in spring training. Who would want to stay in KC?
There is some hope in the Royals' young pitching, including closer Mike MacDougal, and starters Runelvys Hernandez, Jeremy Affeldt and Kyle Snyder, but by that time those kids develops, Beltran surely will be gone, so will first baseman Mike Sweeney. And if any of those young arms do become stars, the Royals probably won't be able to afford them anyway."
anyone following baseball would now realize that this article has been proved to be one of the most untrue things ever written.

i have been feeling really terrible lately. my boss says every day i look worse and worse. there can be several reasons for all of this. i have been staying up fairly late, i go to work in stained clothes, unshaven, and unshowered, and i tend to sleep on the way to work adding to my "just got up" appearance.

this weekend was absolutely out of control. on friday, lots of boozing in the room with key appearances from chris grange, reshma and elyse. i made several claims that i would go up to 98 hillside but never actually made it there. saturday the crew went on a trip to methuen where hamels parents had vacated the house. this party would prove to be nutty. lots of beirut and pool was played and other general drinking madness. this entry will do little justice to the fun that was had. you would be wise to check out Crispy's Place because he will no doubt have a better account of things that went on. my night ended drinking by myself at 8 in the morning after having made several solo missions outside through the brush in hamels backyard. i think i trespassed on about 4 different peoples property before returning to check my email and pass out. i awoke sweating and with a ferocious hangover around 2 oclock. there were many inexplicable cuts and bruises on my body and i think it is safe to say i had a good night. sorry to those poor bastards who i kept awake with my inane chatter in the wee hours.

apologies for writing so inconsistantly. there is a good chance this wont change however. i do plan to write this afternoon detailing some recent events including this weekends madness. while you all eagerly await that momentus event, i will allow you to read this article which i believe clearly illustrates 2 things. girls are crazy, and the world has become intolerably paranoid.

i had the ever popular "sloppy joe" today for lunch. it lived up to its name leaving greasy hamburger bits all over me. i feel a little like a scum bag with my sloppy joe stained lab coat but i am too lazy to go get a new one.

phase two of project free laundry is well under way. i hope to have results by this evening.

today and all this week i get to work on the tanks. for everyone who doesnt work for shipley let me explain why this is a good thing. since the only responsibility going along with this job is a periodic simple test, i only have to work about 10 minutes out of every 45. consequently, much time today has been devoted to get rich quick schemes and "cheating the system" devices and plans. i will reveal these newest epiphanies when prudent.

yep well, another fantastic holiday spent with the fam. easter was significantly shorter due to my need to get back to school for work and my unexcitedness to get there early. normal activities were pursued such as the humongous meal, sunrise service, egg and jelly bean hunt. i being overly enthusiastic about the whole thing, decided it would be best to sleep through the sunrise service, not participate in the jelly bean hunt, and half-ass my way through the egg hunt. during my next nightmare i got to spend some quality time with the teenage hispanic mommys at the springfield bus station while waiting for my bus. not to super a weekend. happy 4-21 everybody!

today i sort of destroyed some expensive samples at work. this might be due in part to the horrible hangover i awarded myself by drinking too late into the evening last night. the drinking was excellent as always, and if i recall correctly, i ended up writing happy birthday on some girls boobs. probably never see her again.

i have experienced few pains greater than what occurred to me only moments ago. while trying to turn off the shower i turned the knob the wrong way and liquid hot magma scalded my body before i could realize my mistake and do the job right. my skin is actually burned and i feel this is not a mistake i am excited to make ever again.

a guy i work with: mark, you think you can do me a favor?
mark (my boss): well, probably, if i dont boot.