apologies for writing so inconsistantly. there is a good chance this wont change however. i do plan to write this afternoon detailing some recent events including this weekends madness. while you all eagerly await that momentus event, i will allow you to read this article which i believe clearly illustrates 2 things. girls are crazy, and the world has become intolerably paranoid.

i had the ever popular "sloppy joe" today for lunch. it lived up to its name leaving greasy hamburger bits all over me. i feel a little like a scum bag with my sloppy joe stained lab coat but i am too lazy to go get a new one.

phase two of project free laundry is well under way. i hope to have results by this evening.

today and all this week i get to work on the tanks. for everyone who doesnt work for shipley let me explain why this is a good thing. since the only responsibility going along with this job is a periodic simple test, i only have to work about 10 minutes out of every 45. consequently, much time today has been devoted to get rich quick schemes and "cheating the system" devices and plans. i will reveal these newest epiphanies when prudent.

yep well, another fantastic holiday spent with the fam. easter was significantly shorter due to my need to get back to school for work and my unexcitedness to get there early. normal activities were pursued such as the humongous meal, sunrise service, egg and jelly bean hunt. i being overly enthusiastic about the whole thing, decided it would be best to sleep through the sunrise service, not participate in the jelly bean hunt, and half-ass my way through the egg hunt. during my next nightmare i got to spend some quality time with the teenage hispanic mommys at the springfield bus station while waiting for my bus. not to super a weekend. happy 4-21 everybody!

today i sort of destroyed some expensive samples at work. this might be due in part to the horrible hangover i awarded myself by drinking too late into the evening last night. the drinking was excellent as always, and if i recall correctly, i ended up writing happy birthday on some girls boobs. probably never see her again.

i have experienced few pains greater than what occurred to me only moments ago. while trying to turn off the shower i turned the knob the wrong way and liquid hot magma scalded my body before i could realize my mistake and do the job right. my skin is actually burned and i feel this is not a mistake i am excited to make ever again.

a guy i work with: mark, you think you can do me a favor?
mark (my boss): well, probably, if i dont boot.

though ive been told that i have acquired a slight boston accent im sure it is far from noticeable to people around here. i guess it is there nevertheless. in any case, i really want one, due to my infatuation with accents, so i am going to make a conscious effort to expedite its development. ill prolly forget about it in 20 minutes though.

last night was basically out of control. i will now try and recount the nights foolishness from the beginning. however, there are many blank spots that are slowing getting filled in by other participants. around 630 or 7 kayla and i walked up the hill to scott and ians place. all was friendly and lowkey to begin, beirut in the backyard, chillin having a good time. somehow everyone got really motivated to make some food. i find it kind of funny that the drunker we got the more extravagent the food we made. at first it was just steak tips on the grill. they were delicious. then i helped ian make some scalloped potatoes and we grilled up some shrimp. naturally everything was marinated in some kind of alcohol. the shrimp with bbq and 151 were absolutely wonderful. while i stirred the potatoes jeff allen decided that something was missing so he poured about half a bottle of our finest busch light into the mix. not only was i surprised that all of this food was cooked but also that we cleaned everything up afterwards. there was actually less dishes dirty when we were done because kayla and scott cleaned it all up. then more people started to come, more beer pong, and just out of controlness. at this point in the story i unfortunately only have flashes of what happened. i remember thinking that this would make a good story but i cant remember all the details. lauren and farah were VERY drunk and at one point lauren was dry humping farah on the living room floor. then there was the brief dance party in joes room where we were only allowed to listen to one song over and over again. due to the fact we got an early start there was time for a second beer run. ian, kayla and shawn drove off to the store, but even that small task was not without event. from what i can piece together, some guys outside the store were asking for beer and when it refused a brawl nearly ensued. at some point their tire got slashed and that had to be changed. the item of choice for the second run was moderately priced wine and champagne. i was lucky enough to eat and drink for free all night and i was rewarded with a bottle of wine. now, none of us had a corkscrew so we had to walk to shawn and jeff allens house and retrieve the apparatus. basically what it consists of is a screw, screwdriver, and hammer. you have to screw the screw into the cork and pull it out using the claw on the hammer. jeff allen was the first to try ... failure. he pushed it in too far so the cork with the screw in it was in his wine. after trying to get it out for a while we finally had to pour the wine into several glasses so we could get the screw to open the other bottles. the best part of this ordeal was getting to smash the bottle outside. i think it was jeff who got to do it so we threw it off the deck but those bottles are surprisingly durable. it bounced of the pavement and then again off a smashed computer monitor on the sidewalk then finally broke in the street. with our screw in hand we went back to start on shawns bottle. again, a failure. this time the cork only came out a little and the screw just ripped out. little by little more holes were made and more chunks of the cork got pulled out and it was becoming evident that it was a lost cause. we retrieved the screw gave up and just pushed the cork in and drank it like that. having learned from the mistakes of my comrades i was able to pull the cork out successfully. the bottle didnt last too long as colleen and i polished it off in a matter of minutes. for some reason it was thought to be a good idea to write vagina on everyone using permanent marker. between the 2 or 3 drunk girls with markers id say a good 15 people got it. after the wine, i got to drink my 40 of st. ides i had brought. that was tasty and pretty much put me over the edge. now time for the bad parts of the night. when i left someone had drank most of joes 40, both our (joe and i) bags were unaccounted for, as was the grill. farah faired less then well and was soon paying for her night of drinking. there were probably some other things that sucked too but i cant remember them so its all good. i only saw 3 people (marissa, tim, colleen) who i know for a fact didnt get absolutely trashed. this morning i woke up fully clothed on a small couch one room away from my vacant bed. a perfect end to a perfect night.

a rising trend (much to my dismay) has appeared in the form of a new age chain letter on instant messenger. i am still receiving copies of that stupid one that says they will shut down my instant messaging services if i dont comply. what the hell is wrong with you all. do you have any idea the impossibility of aol being able to tell if youve sent a particular message to three different people on your buddy list. dont be ridiculous. that being said, i have recently propagated a similar message because it would be stupidly easy to prove wrong. for those of you lucky enough not to receive it here is what it said:

"this is a ribbon for solders fighting in iraq pass it on to everyone on your buddylist and pray.Something good will happen to u to night at 11:11 PM. This is not a joke some1 will either call u or will talk to u online and say that they love u do not break this chain Send this to 13 people in the next 15 minutes go".

now, unlike most chainletters, there was no ludicrous consequence for not sending it (bad luck in bed, hit by a drunk driver, etc). also, there was a very definite time limit which allowed me to see within a matter of minutes that it was total bullshit. admittedly, kayla said she loved me, but she was 2 minutes late and she had mentioned to me that she would do it basically to try and foil my whole operation. some may say that her clock may have been different from mine, well with this exerpt kayla admits to having missed it blowing that theory to hell:

sugarplum696 (11:21:50 PM): shit i missed it
sugarplum696 (11:21:52 PM): I LOVE YOU
Whitetrashkateer (11:22:52 PM): nobody said it
Whitetrashkateer (11:22:57 PM): that thing was full of shit
sugarplum696 (11:23:01 PM): i just said it!!!
Whitetrashkateer (11:23:06 PM): too late
Whitetrashkateer (11:23:24 PM): it said it would happen at 11:11 and that time came and went
Whitetrashkateer (11:23:26 PM): you blew it
sugarplum696 (11:23:27 PM): hmph
sugarplum696 (11:23:33 PM): i was two minutes late damn me

not to mention aol time clearly puts her "i love you" at 11:21:52 PM nearly 10 minutes passed the prognosticated time. in short, stop sending these absurd "chain messages".

that clam chowder i ate for lunch today was gross. i am paying for it now.

my boss almost got beat up by a man closely resembling stone cold steve austin today for tampering with some machinery. stonecold the machinist was angry.

i ate my chemicals.

while doing a routine experiment plating copper onto circuit boards i was splashed in the mouth with a blue liquid. in the blue liquid was sulfuric acid(h2SO4), which everyone knows is bad (acid in car batteries), hydrochloric acid(HCl) also bad and copper (Cu). now you might think that copper isnt too bad because hey, pennies are made of copper. however pennies are only 2.5% copper basically to give the color and the rest is zinc. pure copper is not too tasty a chemical as you can see on the MSDS (material data safety sheet) here. my mouth still kind of stings and my lips feel like they are going to melt off. try and avoid coming in contact with any and all of these chemicals.

nice to see my computer is hard at work still. it has updated to regular time or daylight savings time or whatever happens in the spring. for some reason it had totally slipped my mind that the clocks change. who set up that stupid system anyway. who cares if it bright out at 6 when no one is awake.