ok, first things first, this is dedicated to stephanie niro because she, unlike most in the country, has to work today and that is horrible. i have recently realized that i cannot stand my family. my brothers and sister are the only ones that i ever want to see again. my mom has her moments. and my dad doesnt count cause i barely see him anyway. mike (my brother) and i were sitting there as usual after the food had been served and eaten. we were both thinking the same thing but he was the one to actually say it. "its like after we eat im just counting down the minutes till we can leave". it was so true. i spent a good while thinking of any place i would less like to be. jail came to mind, but in jail you dont have annoying cousins whom you dont like nor evil aunts and uncles asking you over and over again how school is going. i decided that if i had the choice of spending that amount of time in jail or with the extended family i would choose jail. it sounds a little dramatic, but i swear its true. then mike and i began naming dollar amounts we would pay in order to leave at that very moment. i believe the highest total was 50 for me, and 30 for him. i truly believe that that is what hell is like. i cannot imagine a more uncomfortable or awkward place that i so desperately wanted to leave.

my town is the best. check out the police website. notice that there are no unsolved crimes. way to go guys. upon further analysis which im sure no one will do, you'll see that we have 9 policemen several of which are also firemen, and our chief of police majored in music studies in college. what it doesnt say is that he was a DJ for a local radio station for several years before being fired. he is, however, the only one of those pricks that doesnt deserve to be run over by a tractor trailer truck.

i just found out that today we are going to be released at 3 which is awesome, and as a second bit of good news i found out i get some kind of absurd discount on anything to do with gillette. its like 60 cents for 4 AA batteries. needless to say everyone in my family will be getting shaving cream, toothbrushes, blades and batteries for christmas.

the sign outside the building i work in is covered with a blue tarp which looks pretty ugly and unprofessional. from time to time as i sit at my desk and wander aimlessly around the internet why they would leave it there. my curiousity finally overwhelmed me and i asked dinah what the deal with it was. apparently one side of the sign says duracell, which makes sense because this facility formarly was dedicated only to duracell. this was however in 1996. the other side of the sign used to have a gillette sign on it. it seems that that sign was removed and used on or in gillette stadium. why they couldnt spring for a new sign no one can answer.

those Husseins are always up to something

you know when 2 T cars are coupled together? what does the guy sitting at the drivers seat of the second car do? is he a trainee learning the intricate craft of driving a train? if he is actually paid to do that, it may be the easiest job on the planet.

while staring blankly at an ad on the T this morning, the girl sitting below the ad evidently thought i was oggling her because i got a hideously dirty look.

my friend tim smith lives in a treehouse. he drives a volkswagen bus, and makes bread for a living. he just approached these people in southern vermont and asked if he could build a treehouse on their land. in return he does some landscaping (painting, mowing the lawn, trimming bushes, gardening, etc) for them. he also said when he leaves they are free to have the treehouse to do what they will with it. he is one of those kids who says, "i think im going to go to california", and that day quits their job and goes. ive told this story to several people, most recently stephanie, and the reaction is always the same. thats awesome. i wish i could do that. for some time i have been thinking to myself why i cant just do that. say, to hell with school for now, and just do whatever the hell i want. spontaneity is a hard thing to learn however. some people can just do it. i cannot. steph and i settled on an acceptable scapegoat for this: society. admittedly it is an easy scapegoat to pick, but when reasoned out perhaps youll agree. ever since i was a kid ive been waiting for my time. ive always felt like i had to hold back, because of something in the future. in highschool i had to get good grades and study because i needed to get into a good college. now that im in college, i have to study and work hard so that i can get a good job. why? so i can make a good life for my family. does that sound like happiness? maybe for some, but it is difficult for me to believe that everyone should follow this exact recipe. as steph said "its too hard to break away from what society tells you is happiness.. like you must live in a house with a white picket fence, make a lot of money, get married have kids, etc..(for example) ... thats what we aim for ... but when we get it.. it isnt necessarily happiness.. in fact.. its usually not.. but its funny cause while i realize this.. i still want it.. and would never do anything like that [live in a treehouse] which would stray me from that goal". now i am going to steal from a book she is/was reading: "we dont see the truth because we are blind. what blinds us are all those false beliefs we have in our mind. we have the need to be right and to make others wrong.. we trust what we believe and our beliefs set us up for suffering". stupid society sets up all of these rules that are so ingrained into our heads, are almost, if not, inescapable. i keep thinking, alright, after college ill be able to do what i want. but secretly in my head i doubt this is true. i would like to take 5 years to travel the country, the globe, without a plan or anything. just wing it, and end up working on somebodys farm in sweden for cash to get to paris. and then from there choose somewhere else id like to go. just live life instead of all of the bullshit that goes on now. find a way to enjoy life rather than trying to survive it. maybe there will be no way out, who knows. i wish i could just start over knowing what i know now: to not worry so much about the little things that seem so insignificant now, but were huge growing up. maybe that would make me feel more fulfilled, cause what im doin now isnt working. the bottom line and central message you should take out of this is that society is a cocksucker, and i hate it. plus i like to bitch about stuff. fuck it, maybe ill just get drunk.

percentage of men who say they'd watch a sitcom starring mike tyson: 52

i travelled to unh last night and saw just under a billion people i havent seen for close to a thousand years. an honorable mentions goes to tohr, whom i havent seen for 6 years if not more. also, ashley lalamiuere (i have no idea on the spelling), who is one of my good friends younger sisters has grown up into a hottie. the last time i saw her, she was in like 6th grade and now she is smokin'. damn. i must have been really drunk because i woke up with some gum in my mouth that i had apparently put in the night before. i was very surprised to find it in my mouth this morning and i think that the gums flavor changed from cinnamon to death over night cause it tasted horrible. at first i thought it was a piece of food i was eating when i passed out. boy that was weird.

everyone in my entire department is at some safety meeting. i have nothing to do except play on the internet. i actually planned ahead though, bringing in stuff to do at work, like de-fucking my schedule as well as some survey on depression.

i heard on the radio today that ben affleck is the sexiest man alive. i have lost the will to live.

good quotes lately:
"Tatjana isnt russian, she's retarded, what a stupid stupid lady". (chris)
"nothing better than college chicks in the shower". (chris)
"oh shit, is that bad".(me) "no big deal, but do it again and chris will call you a retard again" (paul)

there is some ecologic crisis going on about zinc lately. i guess this guy dan is accused of illegally dumping a bunch of zinc down the sink and since the town monitors that in water it was a huge deal. this dan fellow came in and we (me my boss paul and chris) told him that the safety people were saying it was him. he responded by sticking his middle fingers at the safety people and saying "fuckin prove it". it was awesome. since they are hiring new co-ops for next quarter all of my coworkers are trying to get me to give a lowdown on all the hot chicks at nu and to have them apply there. then conversation turned to girls in the building. apparently there is a girl named michele kwan in the other building who is very androgenous. one of the kinds of people you have to ask about the gender. i laughed for about an hour when chris said "that kwan girl has nothing going on. i mean nothing. like an 8 year old boy". oh man, conversation only got worse. i wish i had recorded it or something. it was hilarious. another co-op student who works ther dinah, a senior, is pretty good looking, is a popular topic of discussion. one moment in particular was one chris asked her "why did you get that tongue ring dinah, is it so you can blow horns better. haahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha". then we pointed and laughed.

paul and chris talk about there wives and how awful they are the majority of the work day. it is sort of awkward cause i dont want to be like, "yeah, youre wives sound like bitches". but then i said it anyway and they melted my face off with sulfuric acid. actually i just made that up.

i started working yesterday at duracell, and i like it a lot so far. anyway, my co-workers are morons. im sure they are very smart, but they can act like little kids. paul, a technician i work with, put a latex glove over his whole head and breathed out to fill it up. my boss was talking with the guy in the cubicle across from me and the only part of the conversation i heard was " ... and that is why breasts are the center of the universe." today the quote of the day occurred when i was being shown how to run the recompacting machine by paul and chris. chris was showing me how to override all of the stupid safety checks: "who gives a fuck about safety? not us." that made my day, as i laughed nervously. chris and paul spend most of the work day bitching about their wives, and i just sort of nod since i dont have a wife. it is sort of awkward cause i dont want to be like "yeah your wives sound like bitches". then i said it to them anyway, and they melted my face off with sulfuric acid. actually i made that up.